Color (UsUk)

Color Has Been Lost

Alfred and I talked to each other the rest of the day, right up until he slowly drifted off to slumber. After that, I made it my job to visit his room every day. A few times, I had come with flowers for him, and for that, he was grateful. I got to know him even more, yet he had lost all memory of family and friends prior to the accident. He didn't seem to mind.

"I have you, and that's all I need," he would ensure me.

I saw more and more new colors as the days went on, and I wondered how I had ever been okay with not seeing the beauty of the world before. Yet, I knew the answer to that question, and his name was Alfred. He opened my eyes and gave my life a purpose. It was as if I had been blind, and Alfred made me see. See what exactly? Everything.

In a place associated with death, I was somehow brought to life.

Alfred was still in the hospital, and he wasn't doing well at all. I tried not to worry, but I just couldn't stop thinking of the 'what ifs.' What if Alfred lost even more of his memory? What if he didn't make it? I hated myself for asking such questions. Of course, Alfred would be fine...or at least I hoped so.

"...Alfred?" I whispered as I opened the door to his hospital room. "I brought you flowers..." I set the flowers on his bedside table and took a seat in the chair next to him.

The injured man didn't wake up. He had been asleep for quite some time, and I was starting to get worried, if it was even possible to be more worried than I already was. I hoped and prayed that Alfred wasn't in a coma. I wasn't his assigned nurse, so I had no idea if he was recovering well or if things had gotten worse. All I knew was that he wasn't dead, and that he'd been asleep for three days straight.

I got up from the chair, "Well, I guess you're not waking up today...I'll leave you alone so you can rest." I bent down and kissed his bandaged forehead.

before I could walk away, a hand suddenly grabbed my wrist. I looked down to see Alfred's hand protectively wrapped around it.

"Alfred?" I questioned. I thought he had woken up, but his eyes were still tightly shut. Oh how I wished I could see those beautiful eyes again. I missed them so much, even though it had only been a few days since I last admired them. I slowly took his hand off of my wrist and placed it at his side, leaning down to give him a soft peck on the cheek before I turned and left the room...

And I could swear I saw a small smile on his lips as I glanced back at him.

~~~~~~~~

Since Alfred didn't seem to be waking up anytime soon, I decided to find out what I could about his life before the accident. I talked to other nurses and doctors, and they told me what they knew about the man. They didn't seem to know much, which was odd. He had to have a family. Maybe a brother or a sister. Possibly some friends? They must be worried about him, but why had no one showed up here looking for him? This was all very unsettling.

I was also wondering about what had happened to him that left him in such a state. His head was his biggest injury, and it was a fatal one. He possibly could've been mugged and beaten. That would explain the lack of any identification. He had stumbled into the hospital all by himself, and it looked like he had been running. Did somebody try to kill him and he was able to get away? These were the questions I just couldn't find an answer to.

Finally seeing the beauty in the world just isn't as breathtaking when the one who showed it to you isn't even awake to admire it beside you.

~~~~~~~~

The next day, things just didn't feel right. The atmosphere throughout the whole building was heavy. It became hard for me to breath because of the sinking feeling I felt in my chest. Suddenly, nurses and doctors were rushing towards one single room.

"This can't be good," I thought to myself.

I began to rush toward the room they were filing into. When I read the room number on the door, I finally understood why I felt sick to my stomach.

It was Alfred's room.

The heart monitor was beeping at a very fast pace, and I could see Alfred through the window. When had he woken up? Why hadn't I noticed before? His face was one of sheer terror. He looked to be in so much pain, I just couldn't bare to see him like that. I wanted this all to end. He didn't deserve what happened to him. Why couldn't it have been me instead? This man gave me so much in so little time. Why must he be the one to suffer?

I just couldn't take it anymore. I burst through the door and ran to the edge of Alfred's bed.

"Alfred! Alfred, it's gonna be okay. Stay calm. We'll stop the pain,"

The doctors and nurses were frantically running around the room, some were checking the equipment while others examined Alfred's head and breathing patterns. They were doing everything they could to help him, and I knew Alfred was doing everything he could to hold on.

"A-Arthur," Alfred strained. His voice was weak. "Arthur? Is that you?"

"Yes! Yes, it's me! It's gonna be alright, Alfred. Just hold on a little longer, okay?" I choked out my words of reassurance. My throat was tight and I could feel tears starting to form at the corners of my eyes. "I promise you're going to be okay."

Alfred, with all his strength, took my hand in his, "I'm so glad I met you, Arthur. I'm happy that the last thing I'll see is your beautiful eyes."

A stream of tears were falling down my cheeks now, "Alfred..."

"Thank you, for bringing color into my life," Alfred's eyes fluttered to stay open, his grip on my hand loosened. "I love you, Arthur..."

His hand became limp in mine, and his eyes closed shut. The room was silent for a moment. The only sound in the room was the continuous beep of the heart monitor, a flat line showed where the beating of his heart used to be.

I sat there for a moment, Alfred's hand still wrapped in mine. I didn't make a sound. My crying had stopped, yet I felt an emptiness inside me which could never be filled again. My eyes were wide and puffy from crying, and my cheeks were red. I looked pathetic. Alfred laid there, in that hospital bed, never to move again. I...would never see those beautiful eyes ever again. Color had been given to me, only to be snatched right out from under me before I could ever even admire it's true beauty. The beauty that was Alfred Jones.

~~~~~~~~

Two Months Later

I walked slowly down the path, a single rose in my hand. I never really liked graveyards. The feeling of death and despair was even more powerful than it was at my job, but here I was, walking past dozens of tombstones, looking for the one with a certain name on it.

I solemnly walked up to the grave, the name written on it was that of Alfred F. Jones. I kneeled down, one hand resting on top of the now simple, grey tombstone. My head hung low, and I fought the urge to cry.

"Hello, Alfred," I whispered. Even though there was no one around to hear me, I spoke as though I was telling someone my deepest, darkest secret.

"I miss you so much, you know that? I...brought you a rose," I said, and carefully placed the flower on the ground in front of the stone. "Although, it isn't as beautiful as it was when you were here...now it's just colorless and dull. Why did you do this to me, Alfred? Why did you have to die so soon? There was still so much I wanted to tell you, so many places I wanted to take you...I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted to discover all the colors of the world with you by my side...but, the world doesn't work that way. We don't always get what we want. I don't always get what I want. Before I met you, I was selfish and arrogant. I didn't believe in the beauty of the world for even a second, because I believed I would never see it in my lifetime, but, now I know better. You showed me how beautiful life can be, and I promise to keep on living...for you."

I leaned in and gently placed my lips on the gravestone, "I love you, Alfred. I always will."

I stood up slowly, gazing down at grave. I forced my feet to move away from it, and walked down the same path I came there on. My eyes no longer saw the green of the grass or the blue of the sky above me, but even so, I kept on walking, kept on living.

Color. Color is something that does exist. It's beautiful, and warm, and loving. This sight, this feeling...It's called love. All you have to do is open your eyes.