AN: Me: knows nothing about love*
Also me: makes a story about love.
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>june POV<
I got better for the weekend, I missed a whole week of school and that sucks, but then again this semester is over in a few weeks. Then we have summer vacation, I’m excited for that but also scared, what if Gabi is just going to spend all his time with Chris? I feel something on my waist and realized I fell asleep while playing, from the purple led-lights I know I’m in Gabi’s room. Memory just hits me hard, I was explaining how pokemon shield works to Gabi as we.. cuddled? He’s half laying down and half sitting and I’m laying between his legs. (AN: I couldn’t find a reference photo) I can hear his heart beating and feel how his chest rises and settles, it’s so relaxing.
I guess he’s sleeping, that’s good. He really needs more sleep and less coffee, maybe I have to start buying his groceries so he won’t buy more coffee.. I lay my head on his chest so I can hear his heart better. This feels so right but wrong at the same time. His left hand is hugging me and right just laying on the bed, would he wake up if.. I take his right hand carefully and examine it. I compare our hand sizes and it kinda makes me laugh. We are the same age and I’m still just tiny next to him, even my hand looks like a baby hand. I intertwine our fingers and rest our now combined hands on our right side, he squeezes my hand a bit, I’m not sure if he’s sleeping anymore or did he do that in his sleep. I feel so tired but awake at the same time, is this how he feels every night. I can feel my eyes tearing up, I don’t know why. I just feel terrible inside knowing that I can’t do much to help him sleep better.
“Please don’t cry.. It doesn’t go well with your pretty face..” Oh so he was awake after all, that’s even worse. His voice is low, but not the same kind of low as when he talked to Cassandra. This low sounds so much more tired and emotional, it feels comforting but I don’t need that, he needs it. He’s struggling and I can do nothing about it, I’m useless to him after all.. ”June I know what you are thinking.. *sigh * but you are not useless, I need you more than my own breath.. You think I don’t see when you are having a hard time with your thoughts… But I do, I see it very well.. but then again, if I asked what’s wrong, you would just put on a brave face and say everything’s alright..” I guess he was sleeping because his voice is low and slow, I hate how he’s always right about me. He reads me better than I do. I subconsciously squeeze his hand, why can’t I say anything back. I am ok, everything is fine when I’m with him, so why can’t I just say something back to him. “Look at you now Jun, you are shaking..” His left hand moves to my head and he plays with my hair, I feel like I can finally speak and now I notice I was indeed shaking, he probably thinks I’m pathetic. “Gabi. I’m fine. Really I-”, “Yeah yeah, you are just worried because I don’t get much sleep. I know.” he’s being serious but soft at the same time, I take a deep breath. “Everything’s alright” he says in sync with the voice in my head. I don’t know if it is comforting or scary that he knows what I’m thinking, I choose comfort. It has been silent for a moment now and I notice his heart beating and breathing have both calmed down.
I did like the vibrating feeling his chest did when he was talking, but we both really need sleep. I close my eyes and take another deep breath to calm myself down. I feel myself falling, not asleep. But in love. Thinking about this makes my face heat up, but not in an uncomfortable way. More like the comforting feeling you get when you are sitting by the fireplace late at christmas night. The more I think about my feelings, the more scared but flustered I get. I’m scared, if I do fall for him I know I’m going to get heart broken because he likes Chris, he doesn’t even try to hide it. Before my thoughts get more toxic towards myself I’m out like a light.
>Gabi POV<
After I pretended to fall back to sleep, he kept shaking from time to time, taking deep shaky breaths. I don’t like seeing, well, feeling him this weak. I know he just wants to help me, and he is helping me. I just don’t know how to put my feelings to words so I could tell him that he’s the best thing in my world. I put big thoughts away for now since I felt June go limp in my arms. I enjoy this, sadly we can’t do this more often. He’s not going to go far away, but far enough for me to miss him. Sometimes I hate that I think so much of the future.. Before I knew it, I was in the dark space other people call a dream
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AN: i hate yellow.
Word count: 920
