Weeping Willow

Chapter Thirteen - You're Everything To Me

I closed my laptop and walked downstairs to the front door. I walked outside and sat down on the steps. A few minutes later Kalen's car pulled up along the curb. I watched as he got out and walked up the path. He stood at the bottom of the steps for a while, just looking up at me.

"Take a seat." I offered.

Kalen nodded and walked up the stairs, stopping at the top he turned and sat down beside me.

"I don't have any excuses for doing what I did Willow." he murmured. "I should have just come to you. Talked to you about what happened. I was an idiot."

"Talked to me about what?"

"Stefanie." He whispered.

I frowned and watched him. He seemed traumatized by something, physically ill. "I thought if I befriended you, if I made right the wrongs I did when I ditched you both for popularity... it would make up for me failing to save her."

He put his face in his hands and his body shook. "I was stupid."

"Save her?" I needed more clarity.

"I was with everyone by the lake, right next to the Rolland street bridge. We were drinking and listening to music. Hooking up with girls. It was a party and I was stupid drunk."

Rolland street bridge. My stomach dropped, and although I wanted to run away crying, not ready to face the truth... I forced myself to listen.

"No one else saw the girl in yellow on the wrong side of the barricade at the peak of the bridge. No one saw her sitting there. No one except me. I pushed Tiffany away and ran for the edge of the lake. I called out, but the girl couldn't hear me. If I'd have been sober I wouldn't have yelled. I would have sprinted up the bridge and pulled her back before she even knew I was there." he stopped and looked at me, his face was white and tears streamed down.

"If I hadn't wasted time... maybe I could have got to her before she even jumped. But she did jump, and the others screamed... they disappeared and left me there alone. I called the emergency services and yelled out my location then swam and swam... desperate to find her. Only I never did. I failed and Stefanie died."

I was crying now too, I hadn't known he'd been there. That he'd tried to save her. I bit my lip and placed my hand in his.

"You tried. You didn't fail her."

"It was a few days before I found out it was her. I wanted to call you but I knew I was the last person you'd want to hear from. My parents wanted me to see someone to talk about it... but I knew nothing could fix it, I couldn't bring her back. But I uh, I couldn't focus and I started failing everything. I needed tutor and in a weak moment I picked you. I told myself that by reconnecting with you... I could atone for a part of my mistakes... it was wrong of me to make you be my friend."

"I wish I'd known that you were there that night." I murmured through tears. "Even though she didn't know you were there... it makes me feel comfort... she wasn't alone when she passed. Not really. You cared enough to put yourself at risk Kalen. You didn't do anything wrong... you did everything right."

Kalen scoffed. "That's an overstatement."

"No, it isn't. Look. Even if you'd managed to get to Stefanie... you wouldn't have saved her." I whispered. I knew the inside information, but I'd forced the memory and little bits and pieces from my mind. I hadn't wanted to acknowledge her death, let alone her suicide... It hurt to much. I was her best friend and I didn't even know things had gotten so bad. "She had taken an overdose of Xanax. She would have died anyway."