Two Seconds

Eleven & Twelve

PART ELEVEN

“Sixth isn’t bad,” Joe said to me as we sat in the hotel after my race.

“Yeah but it isn’t good,” I sighed.

“You haven’t raced any of these girls in years. Some of them you’ve never raced,” Joe said, “How were you to know how it would go?”

“I should have trained harder,” I said, mentally defeated.

“Your training is perfect,” Joe replied, “How many times have I told you that you don’t want to peak too early?”

“About a million,” I replied with small frown.

“Exactly, now one of these times I say it, will you please just listen to me and trust me?”

“Fine,” I told him, standing up from my seat on the floor where I’d been stretching and rummaging around in my things for a hoodie.

*Ring Ring*

“Please tell me it isn’t who I think it is…” I frowned as I held my hand out for Joe to pass me my mobile.

“Sorry, no luck,” he replied as I stared down at the screen.

“Hi Dad,” I said evenly as I clicked accept on the call.

“Sixth Jessica? Sixth?!?” he shouted into the receiver.

“I thought it was pretty good,” I said quietly, my eyes locked on Joe's. He knew exactly what this call was going to be like for me, and as such he sat and waited patiently for it to end.

“Good is getting on the podium. Pretty good is winning. Sixth is nothing, it's losing," my Dad said.

“It was my first race this year, and you know the one’s I did last year didn’t count for much of anything!” I protested.

“Jessica you are throwing everything away all over again,” my Dad said, “When will you get it through your head that you have to work harder and be on top if you ever want to win gold at the Olympics.”

“You’re right,” I sighed, defeated by my own father, “I’ll up my training as soon as I get back to London.”

“No, you’ll up it starting today,” my Dad said as he hung up the phone.

“Love you too father dearest,” I sighed as the tears welled in my eyes.

“We aren’t doing anything of the sort,” Joe said, pulling me into a tight hug.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, my head pressed against his jumper and my voice muffled.

“Upping your training,” Joe said, “I’m not having you do something stupid so you land in hospital again.”

“Joe let’s just talk about this tomorrow,” I said pulling away from him, “I really just want to go to sleep.”

“Fine, but just know that I’m looking out for you,” Joe said, getting up from his seat on the edge of my bed and leaving my room. 

I sat there in silence for a while, going over the events of the last few days in my head. I’d gone to Japan hopeful that I’d make a splash. I thought a top ten would be just what I needed to boost my morale. I ran decently in my qualifier, taking second and moving on to the final. In the final I was up against a handful of girls that I knew well… girls that I’d beaten in the past, but who’d also beaten me. It was a tough race, and the fact that I got sixth I thought meant something good. Apparently it wasn’t good enough though, my father had done a great job of pointing that out. He was always so demanding of me, it was hard to be optimistic about anything. Even a victory.