pool girl || n.h

Dancing In The Dark

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author's note before the chapter starts...
there are multiple songs in this chapter it's up to you to play them or not. some of them are really short and some not. but again up to you.
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"then don't"

"niall. we both-" i started to say but he cut me off before i could even finish my sentence.

"lennon, i'm so sorry. i really am. i didn't want to leave you like that and everyone kept telling me to go back and get you but i know you needed your space. i just want to be able to hold you in my arms again."

i sighed and he looked up at me while i still held him.

"i didn't need my space niall. i needed you to be there with me. i was left...alone. alone in my thoughts after losing something so important in my life. actually two important things in my life."

"lennon, i didn't-" he started to say as he sat up and i shook my head.

"no cause you only thought of yourself niall. you didn't want to come back to someone broken. i'm too much of a burden for you i suppose." i took a deep breath.

"i can't go to sleep without tapping a pillow as if it was your chest. i tap an imaginary heartbeat just to fall asleep. i can't watch my favorite fucking movie without thinking of you niall! i made you everything to me and all you thought about was yourself and your career."

i started to ramble on about what he did.

"lennon...come on. you know i never-" he started to say, but i couldn't take it anymore.

i got up grabbing my coat and walked to the door. "i hope you realize your mistake. if you want to fix this then you will, cause i'm done trying."

and with that, i opened the door and walked out. not caring where bailey, kelsey, and all of them went, i walked outside and called an uber.

i couldn't be in that environment anymore.

he ruined my birthday.

when my uber arrived i told them where to go and texted in the group chat that i was going back to the penthouse and was to not be bothered.

when i did get back, i walked straight into one of the three rooms and flopped down on the bed. i decided to at least get out of my clothes.

i stripped out of my pants and took off my bra, leaving my shirt, underwear, and makeup still on.

i sighed and tried my hardest to not tap on a pillow to fall asleep but it was useless.

that night i cried myself to sleep while tapping my own heartbeat.

~~~
october 17th 2017

"len?" i heard kelsey say as she rubbed my back. slowly i woke up as i turned around to face her.

i peeked through my heavy eyelids to see it was still slightly dark out. "you were crying baby."

she said softly and i sniffed, realizing i had been crying while sleeping. i guess never stopped after falling asleep.

"what time is it?" i asked and she shrugged looking around.

"two in the morning. we got back here around eleven and you were already asleep."

i nodded, sighing. then placed my head in her lap. "you want to explain what happened?" she asked and i just sighed again.

"he sang a song to me. a song on the album, that is completely about me. it was the sweetest, most heartbreaking thing ever. he kept saying that he misses me but never apologized."