Stella/Scully One-shots

Four letter word

Love.

A four letter word. One syllable.

noun

1.

an intense feeling of deep affection.

verb

1.

to feel deep affection for (someone).

Stella Gibson could count on one hand the amount of times she'd used the words I love you. She'd loved her father dearly, but neither of them were prone to being overly affectionate. It was just an unspoken truth between them, and they were both content with that.

She'd never had anyone else she cared enough about to be able to say that she loved them. She was alone, and she'd accepted it. She didn't bother making connections with people, she preferred to know them for a night and then never think of them again. That all changed, however, when she met Dana Scully.

She knew from the get go that their relationship would be different; that their dynamic was different. She tried to deny it at first, but it continued to become increasingly more obvious as time passed. She found herself wondering if she'd ever cared about anyone, including her father, as deeply as she now cared for this small, beautiful firecracker with brilliant red hair.

She had yet to say it out loud, but Stella was becoming more and more aware with each passing day that she loved Dana Scully so much it was hard to breathe. She tried to express it in different ways, though she knew it always fell short. Stella never missed the tiny glint of pain in Dana's eyes when her 'I love you' was left unrequited. She hid it well, but Stella could always catch it, and she could tell it hurt her so much deeper than either of them even realized.

Dana knew deep down how Stella felt about her, and she knew it was difficult for Stella to verbally express. She never pushed it. She knew Stella's boundaries and she'd never want to cross them in any way. She believed Stella would say it when the time was right, if it ever was. Part of her also believed she may not deserve to be loved, not after everything that had happened.

Stella had been thinking about it for weeks. She knew that she loved Dana with everything in her, and she so badly wanted to be able to tell her. She deserved to know. Even just the thought of admitting it out loud made Stella nauseous, though. Saying it made it real. Once it was real, there was no going back. Once it was real, the risk of being hurt escalated. She knew, though, that it was already very real. With or without saying the big scary word, it would crush her to lose Dana.

Stella finally decided it was time. She owed it to herself and to Dana. It was their 4 month anniversary, and she had already planned to make dinner for the two of them. She pulled her phone out from her desk and slowly began to type. Her nervous fingers punching the keys clumsily.

" Dinner at my place tonight? I have something I need to tell you. S "

She stared at her message for a moment, realizing hitting send meant she would have to tell Dana something that evening, if not the L word. She sighed after a moment and hit send, feeling stupid for letting herself stress over it.

——

Dana sat at her desk grading papers, having to hold back a yawn every few seconds it seemed. Her phone buzzing on the desk next to her startled her out of her paper coma, and she smiled warmly when she saw the message was from Stella.