❝SHE'S STANDING ON A LINE BETWEEN GIVING UP AND SEEING HOW MUCH MORE SHE CAN TAKE.❞
in which Belinda Shepard and Ponyboy Curtis discover that home isn't just a place.
→ oc x ponyboy curtis
→ copyright @windrixvilles | 2018⏤2021
After fifteen days, the clenching of Billie's heart hadn't eased. She supposes it will get easier with time, but how long? A month? Two months? Six months? Would it ever get easier before Curly comes home?
Billie had locked herself in her room for the first week Curly had been gone, refusing to leave for school. Her friends dropped by and gave her the notes she missed out on, but she never went outside to see them. She couldn't bear to have them say how sorry they were and pity her with soft, sad eyes.
After the first week, she had gotten herself out of bed, telling herself she needed to be strong for Tim and Angela. She needed to be strong for Curly. The following Monday she readies herself for school, walks in with her hands gripping the straps of her backpack tightly and lets herself be comforted by her friends. She lets Laura hug her, she lets Scott tell her how sorry he is, she lets Leo tell her he's here for her and she lets Ponyboy tell her that everything will be alright.
Billie needs to be strong for her family; she's the glue that holds them together. Without her, everything crumbles. She sees it with the dirty dishes stacked in the sink, the pile of laundry that needed to be folded in the week she locked herself away in her room.
She especially needs to be strong because Tim and Angela can't. Not right now, anyway. Tim gets into a fight most nights than not. It's most likely he's itching for a fight, itching to be punched and punch back at something hard to avoid thinking about Curly, about how he failed his younger brother.
Angela does what she always does when she's not coping: she parties. She drinks and smokes and hooks up to feel numb, to forget the fact that her little brother is miles away, all alone in a cold cell with an uncomfortable, hard single bed surrounded by grey concrete walls.
The day after Curly was sent to reform school, Dean and Lloyd come over. Tim and Angela spoke to them, as they apologise for not being able to stop Curly. Billie remains in her room, finding it unbearable to come out and stand in front of them. They were there with Curly that night and yet they're here and Curly isn't.
A selfish part of Billie wishes to herself that Lloyd was the one in Curly's place. Ashamed of herself for thinking something so cruel, she shakes her head. She tells herself that Curly broke the law and now had to face the consequences of his actions. It doesn't make it hurt any less, however.
Billie doesn't know when it will stop hurting.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It's the end of November, a few days out to Thanksgiving. The weather is cool, the wind picking up, swirling under collars of jackets as a reminder that December is approaching. Billie goes to bed most nights under her duvet and a blanket as the cold settles deep into her bones.
Billie is alone inside the house, spending her Saturday night completing Mathematic equations to distract her from the fact that her twin is in reform school, her older brother is willingly getting himself into fights and her older sister is drinking and smoking more frequently than usual.
