Im sad to say that I am still cooking for my wife, and now i am cooking for kids. Yes, kids. Doesnt that suck? Since i last updated this blog, I haveyy had 2 children, Junior and Jupiter. They are so annoying i swear. Junior is 3 or something like that, and Jupiter was born a few days ago. Where is life going for me right now? I dont know. Ive lost any trace of masculinity I may have had before. I havent seen my buddies in WEEKS. My wife still "LOVES" my cooking. Shes not getting jack for mothers day. All she does is work, eat, sleep and do laundry. I should be the mother. Did i just say that? Yuck. I finally set up a date with my friends tonight, we have ALOT of catching up to do tonight, hopefully im not the only one going through this terrible stage.
*Later that day...*
Alright, so im with my boys Doug and Fin, and after talking for an hour i have to address the problem im facing. So i tell them, everything ive told you i tell them, and there is a 7.8 second pause of silence. Then Doug and fin look at each other, and die laughing. I mean they were rolling on the floor crying and laughing so hard that it was clearly hurting them. I was just sitting there, thinking about what i said, and what really made them laugh. Doug gets up and says "You cook??!!" .
I got a little red and in an embarrassing way i said , "yeah?". They continued to laugh in my face. So they gave me some very good advice.
They both said at the same time, "If she aint cooking, you aint staying".
My boys were always right. I was gonna be the man, the patriarch of this family. My wife was gonna fear me, and I know just how she'll fear me.
She wont see this coming. *Insert Evil Laugh*
Im sad to say that I am still cooking for my wife, and now i am cooking for kids.
Yes, kids.
Doesnt that suck? Since i last updated this blog, I have had 2 children, Junior and Jupiter.
They are so annoying i swear. Junior is 3 or something like that, and Jupiter was born a few days ago. Where is life going for me right now? I dont know.
Ive lost any trace of masculinity I may have had before. I havent seen my buddies in WEEKS. My wife still "LOVES" my cooking. Shes not getting jack for mothers day. All she does is work, eat, sleep and do laundry.
I should be the mother. Did i just say that? Yuck. I finally set up a date with my friends tonight, we have ALOT of catching up to do tonight, hopefully im not the only one going through this terrible stage.
*Later that day...*
Alright, so im with my boys Doug and Fin, and after talking for an hour i have to address the problem im facing. So i tell them, everything ive told you i tell them,
...and there is a 7.8 second pause of silence. Then Doug and fin look at each other, and die laughing. I mean they were rolling on the floor crying and laughing so hard that it was clearly hurting them.
I was just sitting there, thinking about what i said, and what really made them laugh. Doug gets up and says "You cook??!!" . I got a little red and in an embarrassing way i said , "yeah?". They continued to laugh in my face. So they gave me some very good advice.
They both said at the same time, "If she aint cooking, you aint staying".
My boys were always right.
I was gonna be the man, the patriarch of this family.
My wife was gonna fear me, and I know just how she'll fear me.
She wont see this coming.
*Insert Evil Laugh*
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How to tell your wife she cant cook: The Epic Story Of A Unlucky Husband
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