Eleven Red Lotuses | Kageyama Tobio | S/H

Epilogue: And I Am Dying

・・・　・・・　・・・

     Chattering.  There was chattering; words unintelligible.  There was heavy breathing, something of a physical feeling existing somewhere but she didn't know what it was or where it could be.  There was a bleep, and then another, and they occurred over and over in an irritatingly slow pattern.  As soon as it went away, peace came, only to be ripped from her.
     More physical feelings that she simply could not comprehend.  Liquid, weight, pressure.  They were dotted across her existence but she wasn't sure how they came to be.
     There was an ever-ending blankness before her.  An empty universe.
     Slowly, light glimmered.  Pinpricks in the fabric of time that flooded with brilliant light, all too far to touch or hold or feel.  She knew they were the essence of her being, she knew she had to reach them or all was lost.  She could not see or hear or feel or taste or smell; she could only sense their longing presence. She could only sense the insanity that none but her could wash away.
     Slowly, she traveled.  It took everything she could manage to inch forward.  She could not sense her progress, she could not feel the comfort of the stars any closer, but she knew she had to continue.
     Warmth flooded her face.  If she could have seen, she would've been blinded by the sun just before her.  It stopped her in her tracks with the wave of desperation that came with it.  She could feel it dimming by the second, and at the last moment, she took a hold of the tiny light that flickered in the void.
     She made a short sound, like she was trying to gasp in a breath but couldn't.  

     Kageyama shoots up in his seat, gasping.  Tears were already flooding his face as he realized none of it was real.  Choking sobs crawled up his throat like demons as he fell forward yet again.  The whole class stopped at the noise, immediately looking over at him.  His shoulders shook with heavy breaths that he couldn't control.
     She had died only hours ago.  Hours.  He'd stayed up all night, unable to sleep as he sobbed into her unmoving stomach.  It was so strangely still.  
     That was a terrible nightmare.  What cruel gods would toy with him like that?  The sudden memories of the night prior flooded him.
     He'd never hold her again.  Never squeeze her hand or brush her hair as she laid on his lap.  He'd never see her at his games.  He'd never see her smile, he'd never see that expression of a welling-storm that only she could make.  He could never see her pout as she concentrated or the way her soft lips pursed when she made a minor mistake that she usually ended up liking.  He'd never see that light again, as if her eyes turned into their own stars when another idea came to her head.  
     He would never kiss her again.  Not softly and sweetly to wish him good luck before he did something big like a test.  Not in a passionate way when they were home alone, because they would never be home alone together again.  
     They couldn't dance in a dimly lit room anymore, where he could look up and be dazzled by the light glimmering off the ring on her finger; the ring she loved so much.  He could only sob into the desk as he clutched the ring that weighed down her own necklace around his neck.