Eleven Red Lotuses | Kageyama Tobio | S/H

A Proposal of Existence or the Lack Of

・・・　・・・　・・・

     (Y/N) sighs deeply, closing her eyes and dropping her head back as her shoulders relaxed.  She was an ocean: calm on the surface, but the underneath spiraled and tunneled with torturous currents.  
     Kageyama sat beside her.  They'd just got out of court, and she seemed tired.
     "Thank you."  She whispers.  He looks over at her, but her expression hadn't changed in the slightest.  
     "Don't thank me for something so simple.  I'm not going to let some douche get away with almost raping someone."  He tells her.  (Y/N) breaths in deeply as she rocks her head back and forth.  
     "Not just with the court case."  She says softly.  Kageyama still wasn't exactly used to her voice without the harsh tone she usually carried, but he did like it when it came.  "Thank you for looking at reality and not illusions."  
     There was a long silence that lasted minutes.  Kageyama looks over to the judge who was exiting the courtroom.  While he could, he examined her face and her expression.  Her healing bruises had been addressed, but they were easily explained by her monthly kickboxing matches.  Without bruises and a sour face, she looked... soft.  
     He looks away before she could open her eyes and ask him what he was doing.  He wondered what Kiyoko had meant when she said 'sometimes.'  (Y/N) was pretty, it was that simple.  Usually, it was harder to see because she actively tried to hide it, but she was still a nice-looking girl just like her sister was.  
     "Thank you for letting me feel normal."  
     "Huh?"  Kageyama mumbles as he looks back over to her.  (Y/N)'s eyes were now open, looking at him as she moved her head to face him.  
     "Thank you, for letting me feel normal.  Thank you for letting me pretend that my life isn't full of shit and nothing more.  I appreciate what you've done for me.  I know it's not easy to be around me so I'm not going to whine and complain after this.  If Hinata asks why you've stopped talking to me, just tell him that I was found guilty for beating that kid.  I'd rather keep my reputation than simply seem like a stubborn bitch."
     "You say that like we're never going to speak again."  Kageyama states.  (Y/N) looks away and down the hall in the opposite direction of him.  People —attorneys, judges, juries, witnesses, viewers, staff members— were bustling about like aimless bots as they spoke silent sentences.
     "I was under that impression, yes."  
     "I told you, I'll be there.  Every day."  (Y/N) did not smile, but she tried to.  She nods a little bit with a sweet expression.  
     "You're too nice."  Kageyama chuckles a little.  He was staring at the floor as if it were interesting.
     "I've definitely never been called nice before."  
     "Because you like to pretend you're above emotions?"  She asks simply.  Kageyama looks over at her in surprise.  "Yeah.  Me, too."  
     He watches her push herself up to standing.  She pops her neck and glances up the hall.  She looks down at him, almost smirking, though he knew it wasn't a sly expression.  
     "You coming or do you plan on sitting there until the sun sets?"  She asks.  He stands up and follows as she leaves.  

     (Y/N) walked path after path into the forest on the mountain.  At last, she clambered up a sketchy ladder and onto a platform nestled in a tree.  He followed just after her.  (Y/N) settles comfortably on the creaking wood planks of the platform and he hesitantly sits beside her.
     "You have a very important choice to make, Kageyama Tobio."  She tells him after catching her breath.  The hike hadn't been that bad and he was beginning to wonder if she had asthma or something.
     "I do?"  (Y/N) nods.  
     "I'll give you until your 16th birthday to answer it, which, if I'm correct, is in about... 10 and a half months?"  He blinks, wondering what she could propose that would take almost a year of consideration.  
     "Yeah, that's right.  Hit me."  
     "In a year, you must decide if you will let me go to the winds of time and space, or if you will marry me."  Kageyama blinks a few times, looking over at her.  She wasn't laughing as she calmly gazed out at the scenery.  "Don't try to force yourself to love me.  If you cannot, and it's a hard thing to do, I know, then you must forget I ever existed.  Don't mention my name, don't think my name, don't think about the girl who once existed named Shimizu (Y/N), don't consider the girl who you knew named Onibi."  
     "So... by the time I'm 16, you want me to decide if my life from then on is going to surround you, or if it will have never involved you at all?"  He asks.  (Y/N) nods.
     "Yes."
     "But why?  That's so... outrageous.  I mean, do you really expect a 16-year-old to decide their entire life?"  She looks over at him.  
     "What are you going to do for a career?"
     "Volleyball?"
     "Where are you going to live?"
     "Japan, mostly, but I'll travel a lot, I'm sure."
     "How far are you going to go in volleyball?"
     "As far as I can?"  
     She nods, facing forward again.  Kageyama was still watching her somber expression.  She looked so calm hidden under a canopy of leaves in the shadows of the world.  
     "So you've got all of that determined, and you don't doubt them.  What's so outrageous about asking you to spend a year learning everything about me and determining if you can stand me or not?"  She shrugs a bit, her arms pulling her legs up to her chest so she could rest her chin on them.  "Or if you've already picked, then let me know, and we don't even need to go through the hassle.  But I'll warn you, once your time to choose is up, I'm not going to extend the deadline or let you change your answer."  
     Kageyama looks forward at the city before them.  He couldn't make out any single person moving about, but it looked alive from atop the mountain, as if they were gods watching over their planet.  
     "What happens if I choose not to marry you?"  He asks.  "I'm just curious as to what exactly these entail."
     "Then I'll completely disappear as far as you know.  I'm not sure how exactly.  Maybe I'll die, maybe I'll move, maybe I'll simply ignore you and maybe I'll even find somebody who could help me as you have.  Who knows.  But for you, I will no longer exist in the same realm, just another number of the 7 billion people on this Earth that you will never hear a word from, read a word from, or see the face of; one of the people who's reality is completely unconfirmable to you."
     "Okay.  That's harsh.  And what if I choose to marry you?"  
     "Then, as soon as we at 20 and legally adults, we will be wed.  Or, if your parents would sign off on it, we can be married any time before then."  
     Kageyama sighs.  Of course, completely forgetting her entire existence was pretty dramatic and he didn't want to forget it, especially if they continued being something of friends for another year.  Then again, pledging to love and marry someone at age 16...  
     "What will happen in this year leading up to my deadline?"  He inquires, gazing at her quizzically.
     "Whatever you choose.  We can spend all of the time we can manage together so you can make the most informed decision.  We can cram 5 years of dating into this one and you can see if that's a life you can stand to live.  Or we can pretend we've already been together for 7.  We can be semi-friendly but hardly acquaintances for another year and you can make a simple gamble.  We can completely detach from each other so you don't make any memories you'd hate to forget.  It's up to you how this goes."  He nods.
     "And there's no middle ground here?"  (Y/N) shakes her head.  
     "Nope.  You have two options and nothing more, nothing less."  
     "Is there anything else about this I should know?"  She thinks for a moment, considering the question.  The soft shadows of leaves shifted in the wind and made her (S/T) skin glimmer under the sunbeams that reached her.  
     "You must make your decision before the midnight starting your birthday.  If you'd like, I can call or text a minute or two before.  Otherwise, there is nothing else you need to know.  If I think of something, I'll tell you.  Remember that this is your life we're talking about, so don't worry about what you think my future will be like depending on the option you choose.  Okay?"  Kageyama nods.
     "Okay."
     "So, what will this year look like for us?"  She asks.  
     "I'm okay with the idea of trying to fit 5 years of dating into one.  To speed it up and hit all the major and minor milestones.  I think that's the best thing to do that we'd both be comfortable with.  You are comfortable with that, right?"  
     "Don't worry so much.  I'll compromise with anything you need."  Kageyama scrunches his brow at her, shaking his head softly.  
     "But I'm not asking you to compromise, I'm asking if you'll need to compromise because if so, we won't do that."  (Y/N) glances over at him.  She smiles a little.  The expression to the light hitting her (E/C) eyes to the wind whistling through her (H/C) hair; it all truly made her look ethereal.  
     "No, I'm just fine with that.  I agree that it's the best plan to move forward."  
     "And you're not just saying that?"  She lets out a laughing breath, turning forward again.  He watches her eyes flicker about for a moment.
     "I'm not.  I am okay with that."
     "Alright."  He turns forward as well.  "So... we're dating?"  
     "Seems like it."