プラグマ - 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘮𝘢. - (ʸᵘʳⁱ ˣ ᵛⁱᶜᵗᵒʳ)

𝚓𝚎𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚐

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the aeroplane's descent had just begun as yuri stared out into the milky clouds. his eyes drifting towards one that oddly had a vague appearance of a pair of skates. maybe it was just his mind deluding him, forcing him to have second thoughts about his pending retirement. 

the ill-tempered russian boy was right, he should retire.

this was his last competition, the final time in which he would make a fool of himself. he brought enough disgrace to his name to last a lifetime. why would he continually perpetuate the public's view of him? 

it had only been a few hours since he walked away from his former self however he could already feel the tingles of withdrawal. suppressing it made the urges grow stronger. despite soaring high through the air the feel of the crisp ice, cold to the touch, dancing on the ground was so near yet the looming barrier, in which yuri had constructed, concealed the rink from his longing eyes. 

the wall was made with the sturdiest of steel, daunting to cast a look at nonetheless the laughter of the ice skaters made its way to his ears, making walking away even harder. so he kept building and building, increasing the number of layers with materials that were tougher than the last. 

the separator had grown so high that those in space would be hindered by this enclosure. 

but the joyous noises of laughter could still be heard. no matter how hard yuri tried, he couldn't drown the happiness which the ice brought to others. selfishly he wanted everyone to feel the agony which he suffered, how couldn't they see how evil this devil in disguise was? it was only a matter of time before the neverending tears start to flow and the bumps and bruises caused by minuscule falls would remain as permanent scars.

this fate was inescapable, it doesn't pick and choose its victims. instead, engulfs everyone even those who dashing as wildly as they can. at least, that is what yuri thought, perhaps he was just one of the unlucky ones whose flame dwindled into nothingness. there was no more fuel left to give and the oxygen had become so intoxicating that it wasn't worth breathing it in.

yuri broke his train of thoughts with a yawn that made him come to the realisation of how tired he actually was. 

a little sleep won't sleep hurt is what he told himself. after all, he had just competed in the grand prix. a moment of relinquished silence was well deserved. all the stress of skating and complications in his life seemed like a fraction of its importance that it has when conscious. the predicament that was yuri's life didn't seem like a predicament but more a journey of a ship on an ocean that had just come out of a raging storm.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

landing in detroit gave yuri mixed feelings. what was the point of even being here if he wasn't going to skate? whilst it had become a place that mimicked a home, standing there with no purpose made it feel as though he had just arrived in the foreign country for the first as he had once done when he was at the fresh age of 18. 

he doubted that he would be able to face the wrath coach or the pitying face of his roommate and there was no possibility of returning to his home town. he could feel the anxiety rising within his fatigued body, slowly clouding his weakened brain. 

he started to stumble to nowhere, in particular, lugging his suitcase with him, along the swarming streets filled with businesspeople and young adults brimming with life. the sounds resonating with those in the ice skating rink that yuri had conjured up in his mind. 

he quickened his pace, taking longer strides as he knew he had to escape from here. he couldn't stand the cheerful atmosphere. the wound was still fresh; lingering here would be like shaking salt into it rather than being logical and bandaging it to aide the healing process.

he felt as though he was a lone wolf, no one that he wished to turn to or would say the words of comfort which he so desperately needed to hear. aimlessly he wandered, unable to take in the over-saturated colours of his surroundings. the zip to seal the void of helplessness became more adrift with each passing second.

he didn't know what to do with himself.

the skates which rested in his luggage seemed to be calling out to him but firmly he kept reiterating that he couldn't - it would be setting himself up for an even greater downfall.

his feet came to a halt and the beaming sign of yuri's favourite katsudon restaurant blared through the lenses of his glasses and into his weary eyes. the ambience had grown dark as the moon was making its nightly appearance high in the sky, letting its glow illuminate the earth below.

this dish was only meant to be eaten for celebration purposes. he hadn't done anything remarkable enough which would give him the right to order such a meal by his standards. 

too tired to wage a war with himself, he trudged in wearing a heavy heart on his sleeve whilst exhaling a sigh of disappointment.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

this doesn't happen in the anime but there was a year time skip so i decided to fill the blanks :')

anyways chp 138 of aot has me crying but i hope you are having a great day/night !

- serai

song reference : jet lag - nct 127