Boss Babes

Believe In The Impossible

The funnest part about working in marketing is being keenly aware (and overly critical) of any and all advertising, no matter what the medium. While the general population at large makes a concerted effort to avoid them, we consumed them with neurotic fervor and over-analyzed them at industry cocktail hours.

A couple was approaching my tent and pointing gleefully at the display shirts, so I shoved the packet into my backpack, intending to inspect its contents closer that evening.

***

A few hours later I finally I flopped onto my bed, feet screaming for relief, back aching in places it never had before and forcing me to confront the reality of aging. No longer was I able to recover from a grueling shift with a restful night's sleep, or power through hangovers until the effects wore off around noon time like I had in my teenaged years. Vitamins and eye creams could repair or delay the physical signs noticeable to others, but as of late I was becoming more conscious of the insidious, hidden aches and pains.

"A pox upon that kid," I grumbled, still annoyed at the no-show teenager who's shift I covered. If the kid did show up the next day, I was tempted to send them home even though the last thing I wanted to do was to labor another day under the sweltering tent hawking shirts to overweight tourists. Perhaps I should let them work, and just dock their pay a dollar an hour as retribution for the no call-no show.

Digging in my backpack for my wireless headphones, I chanced upon Kirra's packet and decided to dump it out onto my bed to better inspect the contents while deciding which Learning Channel documentary I was going to zone out to that night. Inside the bag were three small pink packets labeled with a number 1, three larger packets of varying color labeled with a 2, and some odd looking stickers about a quarter inch thick, Kirra's business card, and a larger card which I presumed would provide me with more information about what exactly I was looking at. 

This Is Your Moment To Stop Surviving and Start Flourishing! A peppy, bold script declared. 

A premium lifestyle starts with premium nutrition, and it's as easy as three simple steps! 

1. Flourish Nutrition Capsules - Before you get out of bed in the morning and while on an empty stomach, take one or two of our proprietary-blend nutrition capsules to get you started.

2. Flourish Nutrition Shake Blend - About 20 to 40 minutes after your capsules, mix up one of our great-tasting, nutrient-packed shake blends with milk or water to create a satisfying breakfast drink that will keep you full for hours.

3. Flourish Time-Release Patches - Apply a fun, fashionable to patch to a clean, lean, dry area of your skin and leave on for 24 hours. Our proprietary time-release formula will keep your energy sustained all day, giving you the fuel to become the best version of you!

The bag contained enough packets for three days of the regimen. I wasn't exactly sure what benefits I should expect from the program or even what was in the stuff. I flipped over a larger packet, which I now knew contained the shake mix to inspect the ingredient list.

Cardamon seed extract, rice bran, natural caffeine from black tea, ginger root, dihydrogen monoxide ... The list went on, but it seemed to be mostly plant based, and the Supplement Facts section did list lots of important nutrients, like Vitamin A, Selenium, Iron; it was the longest list I've ever encountered on the back of a food package before.

Slightly overwhelmed, I slid off the foot of my bed and waddled the two steps to the long, tarnished mirror propped up behind my bedside table. Peeling off my soggy t-shirt, I inspected the reflection. 

Mouse shit brown hair still tucked into a high ponytail; curly wisps escaping to form a fuzzy halo around a ruddy, sunburnt, bloated face. A protruding muffin top threatening to relieve the shorts of their button; thighs rudely exploding from the other end - the shorts were more like the suggestion of clothing; the profile was more of an undergarment than an actual article. I tugged at the leg holes, but they did not budge more than a half inch in attempt to cover the ham-hocks that were now my thighs. I took a few steps in place, and watched all the soft areas mockingly jiggle at me.

I'd known growing older meant a slowing metabolism, but I had not thought I would balloon up to this ugly, foreign creature so quickly. Perhaps I was genetically predispositioned to become a squat hobbit like the other women in my family, but I had assumed I could avoid this consequence by refraining from reproduction.  

Though my body had never been as slim as Kirra's embodiment of what I considered the pinnacle of female perfection, it had been close back in my high school days.  Could some weird magic pills and stickers really get me to that point again?  I glanced at the collection of colorful, cheery packets laying on the dusky, threadbare plaid bedspread. Pinpricks of light, of hope, in an world of oppressive darkness.

What the hell? The stuff was free anyways. I thought, If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

Unbidden, the tiny voice of hope in the darkest depths of my brain whispered to me But what if it does?

**********

Author's Notes - I've read a few other offerings on this platform, and it seems traditional to offer up some kind of notes for further clarity at the end of each chapter/installment. So we're going to do that here as well in that spirit. 

The first thing I'd like to mention is that this is a a fictional story, and any similarities to real pyramid schemes are purely coincidental. /wink/ 

The second thing I'd like to mention, if you haven't figured it out from the book description and tags, is that this work is most definitely not an endorsement of network marketing schemes - quite the opposite, actually, but you'll see that more as we progress through the story. 

I pictured this section being a long intro to my concept and a detailed publishing schedule, but right now I'm just giddy to have the first chapter completed and clear outlines for future ones.

So I'm just going to hit publish and yeet this baby into the world.

Hi, I'm Charlie, and I'm now a published writer. Woot Woot!