// 50 shades of black // zjm

Part 11

"oh you're quite the badass yeah?" zayn laughed after I told him the story about how I cussed my teacher out in prep school. "well when I was little I had this bibi gun and I would shoot my neighbors with it" he laughed. I shifted awkwardly as I thought about how much it would hurt to get hit by bibiguns without protection. He continued though "and my dad yelled at me asking why I didn't feel bad about what I did" . Of course he didn't feel bad, he didn't feel guilt. It was an unknown emotion. I took some of his wine and he kissed my cheek. "one day I'm just going to explode" he whispered. I took our glasses as he looked out at the city. He was thinking hard about why he didnt feel guilty or even a hint of remorse but this was before he was diagnosed. I was clueless.

--

"we're going to a friends to look at some new things we've been planning" Alexander said. He sat down to join me.

"im sorry I didnt want to smoke inside your house" I say leaning to put my cigarette out. His hand stops me. "you're fine, plus this is your house too"

Shit. My house.

Though we were literally going nowhere since he was now with Jennifer. I found myself realizing that I've been here for an entire four months..

"where does this..friend of yours live?" I ask. I didnt feel like driving or putting miles on my brand new Toyota which Alexander had helped me obtain.

"oh you know just in.. dubai" he smiled.

I choked on my cigarette smoke, something I always did when I was in shock. Choke.

"Dubai?!" I yelled. Was he serious?!

"yep, we're leaving this afternoon If you'd like to join"

"oh my god I'd love t- wait we?" oh no.

He was going to take the thing. "yeah Jennifer and I" he smiled. I pouted and in he shockingly grabbed my cigarette and took a long drag.

"Alex! I thought you weren't a smoker!" I gasp. He stands up and reaches for the door. "I'm not, such a nasty habit" he sarcastically says giving me a wink and leaving me outside by myself.

-

I close my book and roll off the bed. My suitcase was half opened waiting to be filled with sparkly clothing and everything you would wear to fucking Dubai! But I hadn't decided yet, was I really going to sit in a long flight and stay in a hotel with Alexander and Jennifer? My head was hurting but I decided that Dubai was just too good to pass up.

I packed my favorite things, my black sheer tops and two nice dresses that I had never worn before.

As I thought about Dubai I started daydreaming. It was bad to think about Zayn but I still did it, he messed up my brain. He hotwired it and designed it to think of him whenever im stressed.

That afternoon Alexander came to knock on my door letting me know that the car was ready and Jennifer would meet us at the airport. I grabbed my suitcase and my passport and hurried after him.

..

"have you been to dubai?" I ask Alexander as we wait in traffic. Not two minutes in our car drive and there's already traffic.

"once, I went with my parents so I didnt enjoy it" he said slowing down as traffic stuck.

"are you excited?" he asks, his accent deepening. His tongue rolls over his plump bottom lip as he frowns in frustration waiting for the cars to speed up.

"I'm excited but" I think about how much fun we could have had without the witch and I stop myself.

"but?" he asks