Bets and Wagers

Fourteen

"Loki," I shakily sighed out.

"Yes?"

There was a long pause until he finally replied, at least it felt like a lifetime to me.

My guts were churning and I could feel my adrenaline spiking, my fingertips beginning to go cold as my chest vibrated with pent up feelings I couldn't distinguish.

"Um, h-hey," I said, shifting in my seat and clearing my throat, "how are you?"

"Tired," he replied with a long, sleepy sigh that sounded kind of adorable, "it was a long night."

"Oh...I'll call you back later then."

It was stupid and I was fully aware that it was stupid, but my mind definitely jumped to 'that' reason why his night was a long one.

Thoughts of him being with another flooded me which alternately made me start to think that Thor had been skirting around some details, which seemed unlikely but my rational side had gone silent.

I wasn't typically this emotionally driven, sure I could jump to conclusions and take things at face value without actually thinking of deeper connotations until later on but this was something completely different.

I had no evidence to back up these jealous thoughts that sprung up, a long night could mean anything and my dumb brain was trying to find any reason to push me into further angst.

I was too emotionally exhausted for this.

"Don't," he said, "it's good to hear from you, promising even."

"You think so?"

"Yes, unless I'm wrong in hoping that this means we can start rebuilding our relationship."

My stomach fluttered a little, the mere prospect making my heart both clench and jolt with anticipation.

"Is that what you want?"

"I know you talked to Thor about it and knowing Thor, he probably overindulged in my personal business so you already know the answer."

I worried my bottom lip between my teeth, looking towards the window as a bird flew past, not having to worry about this emotional crap.

"Maybe I just want to hear it from you personally."

"Would you not rather have this conversation face to face?"

My throat constricted and I found myself spluttering on my own saliva, breathing momentarily becoming a hinderance and only making me cough more.

"Are you okay?" He asked, voice laced with concern which was at least a little comforting.

"Y-Yeah," I managed to splutter out between a thousand throat clearings, "I'm g-good."

"Perhaps I shouldn't have suggested that, your body certainly seems to have taken a visceral reaction to it."

I laughed through my coughing, waiting for the horrible tickle in the back of my throat to settle down before I could continue.

"I'm not sure if I should listen to that or my brain telling me that might be a good idea."

There was another pause.

"Definitely listen to your body," he eventually said, huffing an amused laugh and damn it, I smiled.

For the first time in a long while when it came to something about Loki, I smiled a genuine smile.

I missed him.

The God with his outlandish tales and quick wit, the company he provided as I worked was nothing but a void now that he wasn't taking up the space and I could no longer push it aside in the hope that I wouldn't feel it any longer.