Shouldn't Have Dealt - Book II

Chapter 4 - The Inevitable

Chapter 4 – The Inevitable

 I stop by the stair landing with my arms crossed.

“Thanks for inviting me over, Angel,” says Colin. His car is parked just a few meters away from the pathway. “Your Dad is really cool. It’s good that he’s doing well. And your Mom makes the homiest chicken pie.”

From the corner of my eye, I catch a view of Ray and Mom peeping through the window. When they saw me, Ray quickly draws the curtains down.

“And Ray knows Chinese so well,” adds Colin.

“Thanks for the ride, Colin, and for picking the right ice cream.” Apparently Dad was so overjoyed when he found out there was new flavor in town. I bet he’s found dark chocolate a bit boring now. “It’s always chocolate ever since I was little girl. However I don’t think it’s a good idea to introduce mango ice cream to dad’s palate.”

“George will get into it. A little bit of everything is not harmful, I guess.”

Okay. So it’s getting really awkward and cold now. My cotton sweater is too sheer for the night’s breeziness. And to be aware that we are being watched by Ray though the window by the living room is a total inconvenience.

“We should go out sometimes,” Colin manages to say before I blurt out goodbye. “You and me. Dinner.”

But then he is quick to add, “And Ray could come too!” when he notices my face tensed a bit. “He can make a good clown. Oh, definitely not the one we can bully around. That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, Colin,” I say. I think he brought up Ray into his invitation because he knew I was going to turn him down. And with Ray around, I will never feel awkward with anyone. Clever plan, Colin. “I’m going to tell Ray. But I am sure you will be busy with work. Your job requires you time and a lot of rest, I guess.”

“I can always make time for you, Angel.”

The glint in his eyes seems to portray something more than hope. I am not just really sure if it’s time to welcome such idea. Isn’t it too early to assume?

“Well, good night, Colin.”

“Good night, Angel.”

And I watch him walk to his car emanating this school boy-aura. I honestly should have set boundaries in this meeting. To see Colin Verne all inspired and happy, I just can’t help but speculate that he might be having some thoughts—of me—of a possible us. I am no idiot not to notice how he stares at me during dinner. And if Ray was right when he told me a long time ago that Colin has his eyes on me, then inviting him tonight could be a wrong move. I just don’t think I am ready for another one.

Not this time.

Not now when I am at risk of losing my job. Not now when I have to deal with Hunter Stone’s cruel manner of getting me.  Not now when I am at my most vulnerable state. It’s not just the right time. I am afraid my heart is too scruffy and tattered to even make space for Colin.

In a little while, Colin’s complete absence has alleviated the congestion in my chest. When I go back inside, I know what awaits me there. Ray will not stop and so does Mom. Hence I think I should stay outside while I let the wintry wind freeze the disturbing thoughts of Colin Verne.

Resting my eyes on the deserted road, I wait for something that will divert my mind away from anything that has to do with love. I could only wish for a grand parade like what I see in Mexican television. Floats with colorful flowers everywhere. Dancing people. Music and dancing. Drums and trumpets. I think it might be the only solution for this. But there’s no parade on my street, only few cars that could be maneuvered by daddies who could not wait to head home to see their sons and daughters before they go to bed.