At Last

"Why'd you pick this particular table?" My group partner asked, confused as she sat down in a chair across from me.

"Umm I don't know, I just picked a random table," I lied, hoping she couldn't tell.

"Mmm alright," she said, seeming to believe me. "I'm going to print my essay first, I'll be back in a bit," she informed me as she turned around and left. I let out a sigh of relief, surprised my partner bought into my lie. The real reason I picked this table was that this was the table that he and I used to sit at. He was an honors student, particularly excelling in mathematics. He used to take me to this library to tutor my math. I smiled sweetly as I remembered all the times we got off track and ended up talking and joking around instead of working. Since then, I've come back to this exact table every week. I can't believe he left.

"Are you done with your part of the project yet?" my partner asked impatiently as she walked over to my table, hands on her hips. She waved the stack of printed papers and shot me an "it better be a yes" look. I sighed, and with a melancholy and remorseful tone replied,

"No, I'm still working on it."

"Okay, just tell me when you finish," she said as she walked out of the library, mumbling something under her breath. I guess I should stop procrastinating. I put in my headphones, started the music, and stared at the blank paper in front of me. I had to complete a group project on miracles, which I don't even believe in. How am I supposed to write about something I've never experienced?

I was in the middle of debating whether or not I should make something up when I felt a tap on my shoulder; I stopped my music and took out my headphones. I turned around and immediately gasped; my heart rate skyrocketed as I froze. It was him.

He hadn't changed a bit since I last saw him, roughly five years ago. He still wore the same black half-rimmed glasses that I used to always tease him for. His hair was slightly brushed back but still messy, just like I remembered. But best of all, he still smelled like sweet vanilla, a scent that I came to adore. It was sweet, but not sickly sweet or overpowering, with a masculine element to it. In the years without him, the scent drifted through the air during my days and haunted my nights.

  I looked into his deep brown eyes, they were so dark they almost looked black at a glance. Flashbacks of our past memories took over my head. I suddenly felt nauseous as a wave of emotions overcome me. The sparks in his eyes mixed with his scent made me feel disoriented and my vision blurred. I was reminded of the nights I spent with him on the lawn of my backyard, counting the stars and sharing our hopes and dreams. It brought me back to all the times when I fell asleep in his arms and his soothing scent would surround me.

But his scent also reminded me of the years after his departure. All the nights I cried myself to sleep because of him. Tears of love, desolation, betrayal, and agony. When he left without warning or explanation five years ago, I lost a piece of my soul. Wait. His last word echoed in my ears, making them ring and causing a headache to ripple through my head.

I have to leave before I burst into tears. My vision blurred from the tears forming rapidly in my eyes; I collected my things and bolted towards the double doors, my heart beating faster than ever. I fumbled my way to the restroom, which was empty. Thank goodness it was.

I looked into the mirror as my reflection stared back. I was convinced I was tired of waiting. I thought I couldn't wait anymore. I told myself that he was fully removed from my life. I told myself I gave up on our love.

All the pain and aching that I thought I hid well was now clearly visible in my features. Tears were streaming down my face faster than I could wipe them away.

Why was I lying to myself? I'd been telling myself that I no longer cared about him. That I longer loved him. But when he was standing in front of me, I forgot all of it. I forgot his unexplained departure, I forgot all the boundaries and rules I'd set in his absence. I forgot the years and years it took before I stopped thinking about him every minute of every day.   

I just wanted to be back in his arms. I wanted to let the warmth and comfort of our embrace to make me forget all the pain that he's caused me and allow for my hope in our love to be rekindled.

I told myself, "I'm going to leave the library, and if I run into him, I'll believe that our love was real. I'll believe that the years I waited in misery wasn't for nothing." I'll finally believe in miracles.

I hid in the bathroom for thirty minutes, which was probably way too long for a person to be in the restroom. I waited for the shock to diminish as I splashed cold water on my face to even out my puffy face and blood-shot eyes.

I took one good look at myself in the mirror before adjusting the straps of my bag and heading out of the restroom. I walked out of the library, as slow as I could, trying to scan the large hallway for him.

As much as I didn't want to believe it, I still loved him. I wanted to run into him, and prove to myself that there was something special between us. I wanted this single action to override all the boundaries that I set. I'd made a promise to myself that I wouldn't go back into his arms, no matter what.

I saw no sign of him. What if it was all an illusion? Please, don't let it be a dream.

I continued to search for him as I went back into the library, inspecting all the hallways between the tall bookshelves. Still no sign of him.

Well, I guess it was just a hallucination. My desire to have him back clouded my perception of reality. With my head down and hands in my pockets, I walked out of the library and into the summer breeze. I've always found peace and joy on sunny days. Most likely because rainy and stormy days would magnify how much I missed him.  

A ray of sunshine blocked my vision, I squinted my eyes and placed my hand to block it. As my vision cleared from the exposure to sunlight, I saw an outline of a person standing a few meters away. He moved his body slightly to block the ray of sun. My hand slowly dropped, and my eyes widened when I realized who was in front of me.

Instinctively, I took several steps back. Probably to prevent me from throwing myself into his arms.

The beam of sunlight created a dreamy outline around him. He shot sparks from his eyes. I held my breath, unsure of what to do.

He smiled and opened his arms.

"Come here."

His voice was soft-spoken but deep, sending shivers down my spine.

I ran into his open arms and collapsed into tears. Tears of happiness, relief, and comfort. I was enveloped by his scent, his arms, and his love. As we embraced, I was filled with nothing but happiness. I was at last reunited with the missing part of my soul.

At last...

At last, he was in my arms, and I had an idea for the project.

He was my miracle.