I used to lay in bed at night.
As I do every night
Looking for a glance of comfort.
Only to be greeted with horror
Strange and grotesque
Waking up to myself screaming.
Yelling in rage, not fear
Rage of the past
Of how I was hurt.
How I could have changed it.
The thoughts and memories swarm inside my head
Like angry wasps ready to sting
Not letting me heal
Dealing continuous blow after blow with no rest
I am sleepless
I just want to dream with no fear
Rest my aching body so I my heal
But it is wishful thinking
Rest comes for the sound of mind
The calm of heart
Without a reason to worry
Sleep
Is for the privileged
And sadly I am not that
So I lay awake at night
Wishing and hoping to dream feeling oh so tired
Tired of everything
Wishing I was not
Sleepless
