Love and Pixie Dust- A Bay Yanlış Reimagining.

When Bigfoot Read a Book

Ezgi

“Rule number one: No women and no hookups inside the home while it’s occupied by the plaintiff Ezgi Inal. What is this word soup? This makes no sense,” Deniz complained.

It was a beautiful day and we sat on the patio at La Gabbia right before the lunch rush. I’d asked her to witness the roommate contract I’d drawn up because I thought that having a lawyer present would add a layer of authenticity to the proceedings. If I was being honest with myself, the whole thing was about holding myself accountable.

“I thought it sounded quite legal,” I said primly.

She rolled her eyes at me. 

I glanced at Özgür and found him glaring at the paper, his jaw clenched.

“Done,” he said tersely. He leaned back in his chair and pinned me with an inexplicable look. He seemed almost angry. Not with me, I suspected, but with himself. I shook my head slightly and glanced away. I was being foolish again.

“Rule number two: Defendant must wear clothing at all times. There shall be no prancing around shirtless,” Deniz read aloud. 

“Defendant? Ezgi, he’s not on trial,” she rubbed her forehead with her fingertips as if she had a headache brewing. “The things I do for a free lunch,” she muttered. 

Özgür's serious expression morphed into one of amusement. His mouth tipped up into that familiar roguish smile.

“Why, Miss Inal? Afraid you won’t be able to keep your hands off me?”

“His ego has its own zip code,” I said to Deniz, trying not to be charmed by his cockiness which I absolutely did not find lovable.

“I have never pranced a day in my life and I do like to be comfortable at home but I'll keep the happy bits covered so you're not overcome by uncontrollable passions,” he winked. "I’d also like the record to show that I personally have no problem with Miss Inal prancing around naked.”

“Oh, for crying out loud! This whole thing is bonkers. This silly document would never hold up in any court in any universe,” Deniz grumbled.

“The rules are necessary. Besides, Özgür likes rules. He has his own set,” I smirked.

He smoldered at me in response.

“Wait! I need to add an addendum,” I said.

“Ezgi, please stop,” Deniz said, rubbing her temples this time. 

I ignored her and pulled the paper towards me and wrote down another rule.

“No smoldering,” Deniz read aloud. “What exactly does that mean?”

“This.” I proceeded to screw my face up into an approximation of Özgür's come hither smolder.

“You look like you’re having indigestion,” he said smiling at me like he found me endlessly delightful. I scowled at the errant thought.

"I'm not doing it on purpose. I can’t help it. It comes naturally,” he shrugged insouciantly and leaned his forearms on the table, and smoldered at me some more. He knew the effect he had on me. Wretched man. I battled the urge to fan my overheated face.

“Already breaking the rules?” I croaked. I grabbed the glass of water and chugged it like I had been lost and wandering the desert for a week.

“I have already broken all my rules with you, Pix. It’s a force of habit now,” he winked at me.

This was not going to work. I hadn’t even moved in and I was ready to jump his bones. But, I told myself, my rampaging hormones would not rule me. I could do this. I could totally resist him and his cursed magical penis. But I needed armor. Smolder and dimple-proof anti-Özgür armor. Every time he penetrated it with the roguish smile, the ovary smashing smolder or the dastardly dimples, I would recall how he employed these same tactics on other women to part them from their panties.