Cold Comfort

Chapter 1

It's only been one day. 24 hours. Well, technically it had only been 21 hours. 21 hours and 18 minutes since you stepped off of the plane at Quantico. 25 hours since you arrested the unsub. 31 hours since you had found his last victim. 40 hours since she had last been alive.

Only 21 hours and everybody had just jumped back into their work, just like they always do. Just like you usually do, so desensitized by this job, that the horrors you see daily don't affect you. Not until today.

It's only been 23 hours since you had sat across from the unsub, the unsub that killed 5 different women and attempted to interrogate him. Twenty-three hours since you had to sit there and pretend not to be bothered as he talked about all of the gruesome things he did to women "just like you" while the rest of your team watched, safely on the other side of the glass.

Yet it still felt like seconds ago. Seconds ago when you were staring into the sunken eyes of a psychopath. Seconds ago when you could feel those same eyes roaming over your body. Seconds ago when-

"Earth to (Y/N)," you hear Derek say as he sits at the desk across from yours.

"What?" you ask as you look over towards him, broken from your thoughts.

"What is going on with you today?" He asks with furrowed eyebrows.

"Why do you think something is going on?" you shoot back.

"You know, answering a question with a question is often used as a way of avoiding a particular topic. It can also be evidence of a lack of trust between the person asking the question and the person who is supposed to be giving them an answer," Reid prattles off as he looks up at the two of you before promptly turning his nose back to the book open in front of him.

"Nothing is going on," you say as you pick your pen back up, and get back to the work you had been doing before you zoned out.

"Baby girl," Morgan calls when he sees Garcia walking out of JJ's office. He motions for her to come over, and she smiles as she does. You let out a groan and run a hand over your face.

"Yes, my sweet?" Garcia asks Morgan.

"Do you know what's bothering (Y/N) today?"

"Something is bothering you?" Garcia asks, turning to you with concern. "Why didn't you tell me?" You clasps your hands in front of you and put on your best smile.

"Because I am fine," you say.

"Oh no," Garcia says, panic in her voice. "I know that tone, you are not fine."

"Garcia-"

"It's a little rude that I wasn't invited to this meeting you guys are having," Rossi says as he saunters over to the four of you.

"We are trying to figure out what's wrong with (Y/N)," Morgan tells him.

"What you're doing is giving me a splitting headache," you say as you rub your temples with your fingers.

"Well, you heard the lady," Rossi says to Morgan Garcia and Spencer. "Andiamo. Let's leave her alone."

All four of them get up and start to head out of the bullpen. Rossi turns back to look at you and you mouth a thank you, to which he winks in return.

Thankful for the peace and quiet, you lay your head down on the desk and take a deep breath. But the second you close your eyes you feel like you are right back in that room again, the prey of a predator much bigger and stronger than you.

"Hey," you hear somebody say from behind you. Looking over your shoulder you see Emily walking towards you. You shoot her a soft smile and she moves over and leans on your desk.

"How are you holding up?" she asks, her voice quiet, not trying to draw much attention. "I know yesterday was rough."

"Honestly," you say with a sigh, "I just wish everybody would leave me alone."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I can leave." She starts to walk away but you reach out and touch her arm to stop her.

"Actually, could you stay?"

"Of course," she says with a smile. She grabs the chair from Morgan's desk and moves it over next to you.

"Are you ok?" She asks as she sits down.

"Yeah, I'm ok, It's just this latest case. I don't know why it's getting to me so much," you say as you shake your head."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You start to answer her but just then a few people walk by, and you start to clam up again.

"Yes," you say after they are gone, "but not here. Not right now."

"Come to my apartment," Emily says. You look at her in confusion.

"Em, it's the middle of the day."

"I can tell Hotch that you're not feeling well and I need to take you home," She says with a reassuring smile. "He will understand."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

As you make yourself comfortable on Emily's couch, she walks in from the kitchen holding two mugs of tea.

"Thank you," you say as she hands you one.

"No problem," she says, sitting down on the couch next to you. "Now, what's going on?"

"I don't know," you say with a sigh, "I've never been bothered by a case before but for some reason, I just can't let this one go." She nods in understanding.

"That's understandable. Hotch should've never sent you in there to interrogate that man."

"But the thing is I've had worse said to me, I've had worse done to me."

"That doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel whatever it is you are feeling." You shake your head.

"You, JJ, and the guys always compartmentalize so well."

"That's not necessarily a good thing," she reaches over and grabs your hand in hers. "(Y/N) look at me." You lift your eyes to meet hers and she smiles at you, causing a smile to grow on your face too.

"You are so kind and loving and somehow you still see the good in the world, a lot like Garcia." Emily continues. "That's what we all love most about you. Don't let this job take that away."

Her words were nice but even more than that you can see a gentleness in her eyes that says she really means them. You squeeze her hand and smile.

"Thank you, Emily."

"Come here," she says as she holds her arms out. You slide over on the couch and lean into her side. Without moving too much she reaches over and grabs the tv remote.

"Now, what do you want to watch, Moana or Beauty and the beast?"