newt || glowstick

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A/N: This Chapter is set during the first Maze Runner Book. Mentions of suicide. Enjoy my first imagine and please votes and comment. Love you all xx

Y/N POV

A glow stick has to break to glow, that's what Newt told me once, anyway. I'm the only girl in the glade and saying its hard is an understatement, the boys have slowly learnt that I'm not interested and treat me more like a sister. Well... except Newt.

He's sweet and all but won't let go I'm not looking for a relationship. It will distract me from getting out the maze, trying to find my family and restart my life. Newt's a runner, so I don't see him often but his dimples always show when hes talking to me which I find quite endearing. 

I was the one to lift him out the box, as I was one of the very first people here, although I was offered to the role of second-in-command I turned it down. I couldn't see myself bossing others around, wasn't my style.

So here you join me, being a med-jack and organising the shelves of supplies. Singing to myself quietly, as I waltzed around the room, wondering what was happening in the maze.

NEWT POV

She won't love you. She will never love you. She doesn't love you. That's all I could think as I scaled the walls of the maze, slowly climbing to the top. I had scouted this wall as the largest in the maze, perfect for a planned suicide. The martyr in my head bounced around, torching me with flames of depression. I had tried everything. She didn't love me.

I had to face the hard, stone cold truth of it.

She doesn't love me. 

Of course she doesn't, who would. I was just a boy like any other, I wasn't eye catching like Minho with his muscles, I wasn't talented like Gally with building. I was nothing. I ran the maze like an idiot trying to keep up with the others. It was embarrassing. Stupid. Why did I choose this job to impress her when there was nothing to impress her with. 

I felt like I was drowning. Gasping for air, it couldn't fill my lungs fast enough. I felt too tired to cry, so dry sobs rose up my throat instead. I didn't even realise I had climbed to the top until I felt a small gust of wind hit my hair from behind. 

She doesn't love me.

A memory of love flashed before my eyes. 

Love was considered the most beautiful thing. 

Love to me is just another reason to die.

 As I thought of her face, I slowly pushed myself off the ledge of the wall.


It felt like I was flying. No, better then that, diving into a pool of the abyss of ice cold water, my breathing getting cut off. The only thing that I was certain about was that I was uncertain about everything, I was frightened beyond anything I had felt before although I couldn't find herself weeping over herself in pity. I also felt safe, as though the skys had wrapped a warm safe blanket around me. 

I finally understood what it meant when Alby said that everyone was a monster at heart, it just took a while to awaken some of them. The girl I loved was now a distant stranger, a memory before the glade that over time disappeared to nothing. That over time, never even existed. It was all in my head of course, she would of never of loved me. The thought of leaving Y/N made me selfish, the thought of never seeing her again broke my heart.

The feeling of vines around my leg caused me to cry out as I was plunged into frigid darkness, paralysed by the frozen nightmare, reaching towards the surface for an invisible hand that will never come. As my mind became foggy and body slowly become limp, I reflected on the memory's of me and her. Dreamed of what might have been. Imagined what will never come.


And with the sound of Minho's distant screams of my name I realised...

Instead of glowing, I broke so much....


 I had snapped. 

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