Just As You Stand - Asking Out Maho Nishizumi

Worlds Apart

You gazed from beside a wall, to Maho as she walked with her two friends that had insulted you before. It would be nice if you could just call out to her and see her face to face, but you knew you could not. Even if she wanted to as well, it wouldn't be doable, most of all because of them. Just then, you heard someone call out to you from behind. You swallowed hard, nodded and turned to face the headmaster as he addressed you. "You doing alright, son?" he asked you, placing a hand upon your shoulder.

"Yes, fine," you replied quickly as he lead you to where you were needed in the school for your work. As he explained the job for you to do, and you walked down the hall, you thought back to the night prior when you and Maho spoke openly for the first time.

"How do you see me?" asked Maho as she stood away from you, staring away from you.

You paused as you thought she had asked you this before, "... strong, fair minded..."

"Not like that!" she said in her commanding voice used during her tank matches. Quickly pivoting upon her foot to face you she gazed straight and addressed you. "Stand and face me! At attention!" she called.

You stood and addressed her, raising your hand. "Just as I thought. Answer me quick, who am I?" she ordered with almost glaring eyes.

"You are Maho Nishizumi!" you replied.

"And what does that mean?" she demanded.

"I... well you are..." you stammered, not sure what to say.

Maho cut you off and in a lower, less commanding voice, answered herself, "It means, I am heir to the Nishizumi house. Heir to the Nishizumi style. I am the one to replace... Shiho Nishizumi." Maho's voice began to quiver near the end as she spoke and you could see her almost breaking from her almost flawless affect she often wore outwardly.

You approached Maho slowly, as she stood, still at attention, her body quivering ever so slightly from time to time in an almost imperceptible way. "Is that what it means?" you asked her.

"Yes," she answered you flatly.

You looked down to her hand that was grasping tightly by her side. You had never seen her like this before and you'd known her always to be able to take immense pressure. You took her hand in yours and cradled it in one, resting the other on top. She kept her eyes away from you, even as you raised it to your lips to kiss it. You paused for a moment unsure if you should kiss it, but after a moment's hesitation, you did so softly. Maho gasped, as if having not noticed all that lead up to this, and looked to you as you drew away from her. "Not in my eyes," you whispered.

Maho looked at you, and placed a hand upon your face. She was more composed than before and looked much like her typical self, but you could see something in her eyes had changed. "You really don't understand... you have no idea how much you mean to me," she replied, with a slight smile.

"Why?" you asked her, feelings of unworthiness returning to you.

Maho breathed deeply before speaking, "Because... you're not like the rest. I mean, in some ways you are, but also not really. Everyone here always looks at me first and foremost as the daughter of Shiho Nishizumi. They expect much from me. Mind you, I can take it, but that isn't to say I like it." She trailed off somewhat then sighed. "Not that I could change it anyway."

"But why not?" you asked her, earnestly. "You are your own person! Of all people, I have no doubt that should your mind be put to it, you could do just about anything."

Maho held you for a moment before leaving you and sighing, "You don't understand. It isn't just about me. It's not so simple as that. My sister may be able to do that but I cannot." You frowned before stepping beside her as she whispered. "I was born into a world you could never understand. As first born, it is my duty to uphold the family name, what it stands for. There are things I must do, standards I must meet, acquaintances I must hold, even if I do not like them."

She turned and looked to you, her smile coming to her again ever so slightly. "That is why you interest me. You are free, your class does not hold you back, you can be who ever you want and society will see you no differently. Sure, those of my standing look down on you, but they would no matter what."

Maho smiled at you, to which you embraced her. "To me, Maho, none of that matters, what I care most to know is who you are inside." you stated to her.

Maho smiled, and allowed herself to be comforted in your arms. "This is a feeling that will take time for me to get used to, but I shall be exalted when I do. It may take time for me to be ready to truly open up to you, but as long as we can be this way, someday I will," she stated.

You moved back to see her face, revealing your own confusion in yours. "If you are not open now, having confessed how you really feel to me, when will you be?" you asked her.

Maho looked down for a moment, but when her eyes returned to yours they were sharp as on the battlefield. "You fail to see then, that I am not so open as you think. I tell you these things because I know the reality is, if you ever told anyone that I said this to you, none would believe you, no one of importance would lend you an ear: in that way I am safe with you. Even us walking together, something that would be frowned upon where I come from, but in your part of the city... no body in your world is concerned with the politics of nobles and governors."

You were taken aback by how strong Maho came across in saying this to you, and even by what she was saying to you, although you knew it was true. Maho looked dejectedly now away from you, "But in my world, they care all about these things. As is they think me to be a bit of an outsider so long as I work with you and treat you well. But I am in high enough standing that I can do that openly. Still, if ever word got out that we were closer than associates in tankery... there would be stirrings in my peers, in my mother's peers." It was quiet for a moment until she finally spoke, "I wish to keep seeing you, when I am able to make the time for it. But promise me this, until I am brave enough at heart, you cannot be seen with me anywhere near to the school or the nobles. Were it only my reputation at stake I could bare this just fine, but for the sake of my mother, and her reputation..." Maho took hold of one of your hands in hers and looked into your eyes.

You stared at Maho, understanding the degree of her concern, even if the idea of it was foreign to you and nodded slowly. Holding her hand to show your promise, you uttered to her: "I understand."

Maho held your hand for some time longer, finally kissing your cheek and stating, "I wish things could be different."

As the headmaster left you to begin work in the boiler room of one of the school's older buildings, you sighed and whispered, "I wish it could be different too."