Love & Hate || Nishimura Riki ✓

longing

" it's okay hyung .. I'm old enough to carry all this burden .. I am not that soft as you both think " he flexed his muscles that's growing recently as he goes to the gym nearby the cafe he works

" Ni-ki , it's not how it works .. you're still a baby in our eyes and you couldn't change it " Jungwon told him slightly giggling

" I was just joking hyung hehe " he said still moping the same part where he mopped earlier

" well , since you just flexed your muscles just now , would you mind mopping the whole place and not just that part you're currently moping ? the floor might erase itself if you're going to just mop in that area repeatedly " Sunoo ruffled his hair after he said those words and continue wiping the wall

" yeah Sunoo hyung was right Ni-ki .. this place isn't that huge for you to mop so don't just mop on that part .." he laughed at Ni-ki who looked at the floor where he repeatedly mop ever since he holds the floor mop

" let's finish this before lunch so we could arrange all your things before nana comes home at sunset " Sunoo informed both younger males that willingly obeyed his orders

...

Shaira was arranging her stuffs when she saw a box where she hid everything that reminds her of Ni-ki. She'll open it again after a long time. this thing had been hidden purposely under her bed for her not to see it .. because it'll just remind of him if she sees this .

But this time she was eager to see what's inside again . She had to see what's inside so she could still remember Ni-ki and those memories that they shared together because if she won't do it , she feel like loosing her mind .. She misses him a lot that she can't even forget about him even if he had pushed her away and ignored her .. and those letters that she had given to him.

She smiled as she opened the lid of the cutely designed box where she stored her memories with him .

She picked a photo of Ni-ki which she took when they hang out by the bridge .. that night when she said to Ni-ki to not do anything to revenge .. to not take unpleasant actions that'll end him to worst situation .. She was just glad that Ni-ki had obeyed her but she was sad at the same time because the one that he was talking about that night was her father . If she just only knew .. but what if she knew it earlier ? would she tell Ni-ki that her father was Min Jooyun ? would she tell Ni-ki that the criminal that he's looking for was with her all this time ? Or would she let Ni-ki make her dad locked up in a cell ? She couldn't find answers to the questions that's circulating in her mind right now .. it's her dad after all but he committed a sin.

She gathered all the photos that's inside the box and scatter it on her bed .. She lied on her bed as she stared at every photo that she has on her hands .

" Riki's so cute here " she adored the cute photo of Ni-ki that she took secretly while he was sleeping at the staff's room

" oh this one's the coolest .. the day when he danced at Jay oppa's place that I also secretly took .. it was blurry because I don't to get caught when he suddenly looked back at me" she only knows this of course because she was fond of taking stolen shots from the male

She remembered how Ni-ki caught her attention for the first time as a boy .. the first time she admired him by the way he danced .. he was so happy that time when he do that dance battle with Kei . When the crowd where yelling his name , cheering for him .. he was so happy that Shaira could see it in his eyes .. those sparkly eyes that she fell for . she misses those eyes .. the galaxy in his eyes that drowned her deeper into him.. if she could just see those eyes again. Also his smile that would always make her day bright  even she had a bad day ..  his smile that would instantly make her feelings better .

She misses Ni-ki's comfortable hugs .. his deep voice that sometimes crack whenever he's excited .. it made her laughed while thinking about it  . She misses everything in him . She missed Ni-ki.

"ahh I really miss him .. i wish I could go back to Korea and be with him again " she said softly imagining the day if they would ever meet again ..

" but what if he really doesn't love me anymore ? what if he doesn't want to see me ? what if it's only me who misses him and he never thinks of me ? " she sighed .. questions flooding her head again , questions that she doesn't know how to answer herself because the more she questions herself , the more she's hurt

" I guess it's the best if we would just separate ways for good .. and don't ever cross paths again " she told herself determined but everytime she would think like this or think about throwing Ni-ki's love away , she would feel hurt and guilty .. as if it was going to be unfair for Ni-ki if she'll give up on him but at some point , she would think again that why would it be unfair for him if he's the one who literally pushed her away from him ..

"I've been so loyal to him all these years but he just replaced me with another girl .. ugh ! he's so unbelievable ! He was the one who confessed that he love me but there he is loving another girl instead of me .. Did I ever matter to him ? How come he just forgets about me when I am here , couldn't even forget everything about him . Gosh ! I remember even how he walk " she ranted even though she knows that no one is listening to her . This time she really forgets that she and the boy had broke up already and acted like they were still a couple

She spotted the pictures that Jake mailed to her as she scans the inside of the box .

" I don't know if I would fully believe in this photos .. they were so sweet that you would actually tell that they are a couple but is it just the angle or there's something wrong with my eyes .. is this edited ? " she raised a photo where Hae Jin's hands were on Ni-ki's shoulder .. it happened recently so Jake probably sending her all pictures that he could take secretly . He was so resolute in his task as if he doesn't have any work to do .. He just stalk Hae jin and Ni-ki at the cafe to get some proofs then send it to Shaira . But Shaira didn't want any of these . She doesn't really care after all . All she wanted was to see Ni-ki at this point . And know everything from him personally so she wouldn't just jump into conclusions and judge them both . Because she knows that Ni-ki is so friendly and this photos screams friendship but she admits that she was jealous .. she couldn't help it .. Ni-ki is with another girl for pete's sake .

" I badly want to see him but I'm here .. restrained from doing what I want as if I'm a prisoner in my own house  " she sighed .. She hates her dad for bringing her here in a country where he left her when she was young .They came here just to hide obviously but she doesn't know that her dad was this serious in hiding that  Shaira was restricted to go out if it's not for school . She felt their house was a jail .

"Should I take over the company and force dad to be admitted in some mental or psychiatric hospital ? His condition isn't good to start with .. but I'm still young and inexperience in that field .. I'm afraid I might ruin the whole company if I do that " she said her thoughts again as if she has a friend to talk .

"how can I do that ? I'm powerless .. and besides dad was still surviving on his own .. even though we barely talk , I know that he still hasn't lose his sanity " she keeps speaking talking to no one ..

" ugh ! I think I'm the one who's losing my sanity .. I've been talking with myself " she slid all the pictures that she taken out of the box  and arranged it neatly inside it . She closed it then hid it again under her bed

"I think I'll just sleep .. my thoughts are not going anywhere .. these are keeping me from overthinking and this is not good for my mental health .. I don't want to be stressed " she fixed her bed then closed her eyelids .

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I couldn't think on what to write next so I just updated with this one chapter .. I'll come back next week :)
and it's the 24th ! Sunki Day .. I hope they'll post something . But it's okay if they won't .. I still love them both .

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