Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down | TK

07 | Starry night

Both had a valid point.

With a final apprehensive glance to the dark sky, he released a content sigh and gathered the courage to ask him this question that had eaten him up for far too long.

"Can you tell me more about your mate?" Jungkook blurted out the question, his guts twisting into knots.

Instead of receiving a denial, he got a smile. It was a closed-lip smile, though it was easy, loose. It filled his cheeks, lifted them to his eyes until they seemed smaller, curving in downward grins to greet his mouth.

"Well..." Taehyung started, fixing his attire a bit, daydream blue eyes and crystal lashes were hidden behind the soft bangs of his ash blonde hair that acquired the color grey under the silver moonlight. "You might think of my mate as a typical true blood alpha. Dominant, strong, possessive...he was all of that, yes, but somehow he never showed it." 

Jungkook's eyes followed the lines of Taehyung's face as he spoke. His breath was coming into soft, evasive gasps. His features had softened, the line between his brows diminished. "He taught me how to stand for myself, took care of me when I was at my lowest point. For him It didn't matter how high his rank was."

His eyes were bright as he gazed at the stars, his expression soft, vulnerable. "I remember the first time he showed me how to hold a sword. He always let me win." Taehyung bit his bottom lip, his hand going up to cup the faint mate mark on his neck, squeezing tightly. It didn't bring him the calmness he was seeking for. A mate mark loses its purpose and meaning after your significant one dies. "God, I wish he was here."

Jungkook hesitantly placed a hand on Taehyung's knee, rubbing his thumb gently over the material of his sweatpants. He wasn't sure if he should voice the question that he wanted to ask.

What happened to him?

He opened his mouth, hesitated but then Taehyung spoke as if he had heard the question telepathically.

"He was killed." Taehyung's lips parted as he breathed, his tongue sneaking briefly between them. When they sealed again, the smile was gone from his face and his eyes. He straightened, tapped his palm loud at the railing before he moved back. "Dead and buried" he said.

Jungkook's thumb stilled on Taehyung's knee and he glanced up at him, but the omega's gaze was still fixed on the sky, looking at it but not really seeing it.

"I remember－" he stopped, took a deep breath and then went on. "I remember when he told me to run. I tried to tell him that I'm not going anywhere, but I couldn't resist his order." He sniffled and scrubbed an impatient hand over his lids. "I left him die because I couldn't ignore a simple command."

Something in Jungkook's chest clenched as he remembered what Taehyung had said the day they met.

Who said I need an alpha to tell me what to do?

God, if he had only known. He would have never opened his mouth.

A tear slipped down Taehyung's face and he pressed his lips together, blinking rapidly. "It was my fault," he gasped out. "I was his mate, I should have stayed, I should have been there to help him." He continued to spill multitudes of pain into the soil. 

"Oh, pup, no." Jungkook gently pulled Taehyung forward so that his head was resting between the conjunction of his neck and shoulder. "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was!" The omega heaved in a shuddering breath, clutching at Jungkook's shoulders. He didn't mind the proximity of their bodies, finding the radiating warmth Jungkook provided for quite comforting. "If I didn't run away, if I fought back-"

"How could you have helped him, pup?" The alpha said softly, brushing a lock of hair away from Taehyung's beautiful face. "He did it to protect you. It was his decision, not yours. You can't take responsibility for that."

Jungkook's own eyes began to sting and God knows he hasn't cried in years. A decade, to be specific. Taehyung's tears hurt, sure. But him blaming himself through his tears - bruises.

The omega shook his head vehemently, more tears spilling out of his eyes. "It was my fault," he sobbed. "He saved my life, why couldn't I save his?"

"Shh, pup, none of this is your fault."

Taehyung buried his face in Jungkook's chest, his entire body wracked with sobs and all Jungkook could do was hold onto him, murmur soothing words, and press the occasional kiss to the top of his head. He wanted to take Taehyung's pain away, make it his own so Taehyung wouldn't have to feel it anymore. But he knew that this was impossible so he just held onto him and when Taehyung was all cried out and had fallen asleep against his chest, Jungkook stayed there with him, cradling him in his arms and looking around the forest, silently vowing to never use his alpha voice on Taehyung.

Not ever.

"It takes ten times longer to put yourself back together than it does to fall apart." - The Hunger Games