Riddhima Os Broken Dreams of A Family(complete)

Vansh pov

Family has always been my life line, after my Father's death and my mother's disappearance, i took care of my family.

I grew up too fast when boys of my age were going to movies, chilling out with friends, i had to step up to protect my family and take care of my father's business.

Those four years in Juvenile centre made my understand one thing, never show your weakness to anyone and never have any weakness otherwise this world will break you into pieces.

I had to pay for my father's sins and i never wanted the same for my child so i decided to never have a child.

Ragini was a weak point in my life, i fell for her love, care and started believing that maybe i deserve some love too but in the end she too betrayed me but i didn't kill her because she knew about my mother's killer.

I slowly started becoming the VR cold, ruthless, that doesnt leave betrayers, i started building walls around my heart. I loved and cared about my family but never showed them that, i fulfilled all their wishes but never came close to them because i didn't want my family to be hurt.

The day i met Riddhima was the most beautiful day of my life for me she was an angel, she fought with me and for a second i became the same Vansh of the past yearning for love.

But destiny had other plans she came to spy on me , married me to prove her love for Kabir, the day she got shot for the first time i was scared to lose something, i wanted her to be mine, to love me to care about me.

Our first karvachauth is steeped with bad memories, her spying on me, me harming and torturing her. Losing ragini was devastating for me because i couldn't keep my promise to my mother, but what really broke me was even after seeing my state Riddhima never told that she had kidnapped Ragini.

My suicide was a last moment plan i needed to be away from my family, from Riddhima to make new plans to punish my betrayers. I came infront of her Vihaan and as usual she asked my help to protect the family.

There were so many times i used to see confusion and torment in her eyes but she shared nothing with Vihaan, i hate this characteristic of her, she never believed in me nor she shared things with me.

Bringing Ahana was important to teach her to trust only me, but the pain and sting of betrayal and daresay my ego of not being her first love made me do horrendous things, thank god for Siya that she woke up and told me the truth. I ran behind her and begged for her forgiveness and she forgave me as well.

Riddhima wasnt feeling well for few days and i was worried for her, on top of that my deal with Chang went horribly wrong i was on verge of death and what i feared was how will Riddhima survive in that house without me.

My most dreaded nightmare has come true, Riddhima is pregnant with my child, a child which i promised myself i will never, she is so happy how will i tell her the truth.

Everyday i am in this turmoil on the one hand i am scared for my child, will suffer for me deeds, will i be a good father? What will happen to him if i die? How will he survive.

I feel guilty everyday of making Riddhima cry everyday, i hate seeing her struggle every day to make me love this child, but what she doesn't know i love my child i yearn to hear his heartbeat, see him, hold him but i am scared of my past, of being weak infront of my Riddhima.

She saved me today and lost her everything, for her our child was her everything, a way to have her own family, i know she is depressed and crying looking at her baby's sonography report and listening to the heartbeats.

But how do i make her understand?, how do i show her my pain? How do i ask for help? How do i show her that her strong Vansh is broken, i lost my whole world, not only i lost my  baby i am loosing my Riddhima too. How do i make this okay? Will it ever be okay?