𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 | 𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐣𝐚𝐲

32: when you're gone

I closed my eyes as a sharp pain built at the back of my eyes. The stress of the situation was eating me up and I couldn't do anything about it. 

"So the flowers?" Jungwon pitched.

"She didn't even get to see them," I gave him a disappointment smile and they all sighed at the downfall of our great plan.

"Is this what happened?" Sunoo's voice was raised with concern. He was staring at his phone with worried eyes and a hand covering his mouth. 

"Let's see!"

We all crowded behind him where he played a video someone had posted online. It was horrific. I couldn't bring myself to watch more than a second of it. I took a step back and observed the guys who watched Hyerin get pelted with rubbish and verbally abused, whilst she stood in fear. 

"That's horrible..." Ni-ki wiped a tear fell down his cheek. I brought him into a hug. Ni-ki considered Hyerin as an older sister, almost. I'm sure seeing that video would affect him dearly and I wish he hadn't seen it. I wish all of them hadn't seen it including the hundreds of views that were increasing by the second. 

"We should go see her," Jake put forward, "She must feel horrible. Especially when it's all false! We were all there at the fashion show and we can all vouch for her."

The guys agreed that they wanted to help clear up the situation including bringing the video down, but I shook my head. The one thing Hyerin begged me not to do was to bring any more light to the rumours. She just wanted to escape and leave it at that. 

"She doesn't want it clearing up," I explained. We all sat down and I gave a thorough run down of the events. I retold everything she had said and everything I had put forward to convince her to stay. After an hour, they all agreed that the right thing to do was support her. 

"So she is leaving," Sunghoon reiterated. He looked down, not wanting to look at me. The others noticed he was acting a bit off. Maybe my suspicions were true. 

"She told you," I muttered. 

Sunghoon gulped before sending a regretful nod in my direction. 

"Then why didn't you say anything?" I questioned. My temper was fluctuating. From the video being uploaded to my best friend keeping things from me. I was so close to reaching my limit. 

"If you knew she was going to leave why did you let me go through all that trouble to tell her that I liked her! Why did you get my hopes up like that?!"

"Because you were supposed to be a reason for her to stay!" Sunghoon stood up from where he was sat and faced me. It was like we were in a duel with the other guys struggling to pick a side. 

"I couldn't convince her myself! She decided last week that she would go back. After you said you were going to confess I thought it would be enough to keep her here, so I let you go on to do it," he explained calmly. 

"Yeah, well that obviously didn't happen," I scoffed.

"I know you're upset and I'm sorry for not telling you," Sunghoon reached out ,"There's still time, Jay. We can fix this." 

"How?"

"She never said when she'll go back and I'm sure when she does decide she'll say goodbye to us all. Hyerin is decent like that. Maybe we can reach out to her before then," Heeseung brought up. He was right. Surely she wouldn't pick up and leave without a last word. There was time to convince her still and I was determined to do it. 

"Okay, so what should we do?" Sunoo asked. 

"Nothing, I need to go - alone," I rushed around grabbing some shoes and a jacket. The guys all watched without a word. At least they trusted me with what I had planned.

"What will you say to her?" Sunghoon said quietly. He took my jacket in his hands and zipped it up like a mother sending her child to school. 

"The truth about how I feel," I started, "And a promise to fix everything." 

He nodded and patted me on the back for good luck. I smiled at his gesture and bid them all a short goodbye before running out of the house. 

Hyerin didn't live far - about half an hour away, which meant I could get to her quicker. My legs took me as fast as they could go. It wasn't top speed since I was still recovering from an injury, but it was enough to get me there within the hour. 

6:47pm.  

I looked up at her apartment window and saw darkness. She wasn't in the main room, but maybe she was in her bedroom. I ran through the apartment complex and up the four flights of stairs to get to her floor. My eyes scanned the door numbers looking out for hers. 

32A...

32B... 

33A... 

33B!

As soon as I reached it, my fist rattled at the door. 

"Hyerin! If you're there please open up!" I called through the door. I tried the buzzer and knocked continuously for another five minutes. Nothing - was she showering? I looked through the peephole and was met with dark dot. The apartment was empty. 

I raked through my brain for ideas. Maybe she went out somewhere? I should call her, right? I slouched against the wall as my fingers dialled her number. Holding the phone up to my ear, I waited whilst my foot tapped impatiently. The phone rang, meaning that she was receiving the call but not answering. My brain was running at light speed. I must have called her at least thirty times before she eventually answered. 

"Jongseong," her tone was flat.

"Hyerin! Oh god I'm so glad to hear your voice," I smiled with relief, "Where are you?" 

"I'm-,"

"Wait - before you say anything. I need to go first. I know how you must be feeling and there's nothing I can say to change that, but I will do everything I can to make life easier for you here. I promise. You and I both know that you enjoy it here where you can be free and be yourself. This whole mess can be fixed and will go away!" 

"Jongseong, please..."

"No, listen!" I stuttered. There was so much I could say but my brain and mouth were working against each other. I was tongue tied. 

"You're amazing. Me and the guys love having you around. The time we've spent together was so fun and we can do more of that. We want to show you around our favourite places. I... I want to show you around these places," my voice trailed off as I came to terms with the words that have been waiting to escape my lips. 

"What are you trying to say?" Hyerin replied curiously but still no give to her tone. 

"I want you here. I love being around you and hearing you talk about things you enjoy. I love seeing you smile at small things and cheer at the big things. I love how simple your mind is and how you always give it your best. I-I need you, Hyerin. I lo-,"

"Jongseong, stop!" she shouted over the phone. 

My breath hitched. 

"I landed in Philippines twenty minutes ago,"

My heart fell.

 "And I didn't buy a return ticket."