𝐿𝑂𝑉𝐸 𝐶𝑌𝐶𝐿𝐸 ♡

18

"Hey gee gee" I smiled giving her a hug

"Heyy, is that my baby Legend how you been? you getting so big"

"I've been straight just came
from school this is my last year and they're gonna finally give me my degree. how have you been?" I said sitting down

"Granny getting old I just been taking it day by day" 

"Don't say that ion even wanna think about that right now" I rubbed my temples

"Why you lie to me?" She looked at me examining my face

"What did I lie about?" I asked confused

"You said you've been good but you look stressed, you know granny can read you like a book. tell me what's wrong" She said and I felt a lump in my throat

My gee gee was the only person who knew how I was mentally because I told her everything. It's things I tell her that I would never tell my parents because she doesn't judge me she always helps me and that's something I love about her

"If I'm being honest I'm tired gee gee, I just been having so much on my mind lately and I haven't been happy at all. Like yea I have friends and we have fun but I'm starting to feel lonely when I'm around people. Then when mama told me you were sick it broke my heart because your the only person I talk to and if your gone who will I have? I can't live on this earth without you gee gee you can't leave me yet" I said wiping my tears

"Aww baby come here" She stood up and we walked in the house sitting on her couch

"Do you think your depression is coming back? that's what it sounds like" She rubbed my back

A few years back I suffered from atypical depression, it comes and goes when it wants but it's been almost a year and I don't think it came back

(Atypical depression refers to depression that temporarily goes away in response to positive events. Your doctor might refer to it as major depressive disorder with atypical features.)

"No I don't think that's it because I've been happy I really have I just- I just don't know anymore" I played with my nails

"Listen baby I'm fine and I'm not going anywhere no time soon okay? I've been doing good and taking my pills I'm okay. You know you can always come to me when you feel lonely. I know how it feels to have people around you but still feel alone" She rubbed my back

"I'm tryna stay strong and keep moving forward but my mental health is so messed up right now I really don't know why"

"Everything is gonna be okay I promise it will be fine. you are so strong. Every battle that has came your way so far you beat it, this is just another one you're gonna have to beat"

"Listen to this metaphor, Life is like your ponytail, Overtime it's going to get messy. it might fall down but you just have to take your time and fix it again" she said and I laughed but taking in what she said

"Thank you gee gee I love you" I gave her another hug

"I love you too. Anytime, You know that"