devoid | newt

chapter three

"I'm scared of dying," I blurt, tears forming to the mention of it, "everyone here seems so okay with the idea. I can't even talk about it without being scared. I don't have any idea what's going to happen to me." I break down my walls, the walls that protected me from people calling me weak. I don't care anymore, I want him to see me, I want him to listen. Please listen.

"Were not going to be here forever. It's going to be okay." Newt replies, bringing his face closer to mine, his eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"You don't know that. You don't get it." I mutter, refusing to face him.

"I do." Newt's glance sticking to mine. Eventually turning to stare him in his eyes, refusing to let go of our contact.

"Stop crying." Newt mumbles, his glance following the lower part of my face then back up to my watered eyes. His hand twitches like he was trying to reach for something, though it relaxes, returning to its previous position. I lay my eyes to the ground taking in a small breath.

A few minutes pass, Newt gets on his feet, checking out the water stream, then back at me.

Followed by a long pause, "Goodnight." He sighs, leaving the bridge.

The lonely sensation hits again, ripping another piece from my heart.

Days later, the sun rises scorching out onto the glade. While walking out of my hut I notice in the distance a small group of boys splashing in the water of the lake. A rope hangs from the tree as Ben leaps himself onto the rope, launching himself in the lake, water splashing on the three other men. My cheeks warm in the hot summer weather as a smile creeps up on my face while I escort myself to the pond of water.

"Ay! Maria!" Minho shouts, grabbing the rest of the group's attention while hollering at me.

"Jump in right now you shank!" Gally splashes water at me. I let out a laugh, taking a step back. Most of the boys in the glade had no boundaries and stopped caring about a single thing like they would die tomorrow. I step over to the rope, grasping it while staring back at the waters. The boys' faces beaming at me.

"No!" I shiver, holding onto the rope.

"Come on!" They all splash at me. I eye the rope again and consider my choices. Letting go of the rope, rebelling as I walk into the water without the help of jumping on the swinging rope. My clothes begin to soak, next my hair as I drop my entire body into the water.

Swimming up to the surface, a body slams into mine, throwing me over their shoulders.

"Stop!" I chuckle from the impact.

"Brace for impact!" Gally yells, splashing me into the water, causing me to fall to the bottom of the lake. I hesitate, however I plunge back up from the underwater, desperate for fresh air. Running my hands through my drenched hair, I tread away from Gally, terrified of his next move.

"That's what you get for not taking the rope green-bean." Gally mocks while I move away.

The rest of the group climbs on each others shoulders as I notice Newt standing alone in the corner of the lake. Hesitantly staring at him, I make my move, treading water closer to him while he leers at me, his eyebrows close together.

"Hi." I say softly, my chin barely touching the water.

His deadpan face stares at me as his body stills in the water, "Hi." Newt replies vaguely. Newt's eyes trail to my lips, immediately back up to meet my gaze.

"Go back to your friends." He demanded. I pause, searching his face for any sense of emotion. Does he know what he does to me? He can't do this.