•͟U͟N͟D͟E͟R͟S͟T͟A͟N͟D͟ ͟c͟a͟r͟t͟i͟u͟z͟i͟•͟

XVI

I meandered my way down Interstate 20, deciding to listen to Travis' SoundCloud songs in full for the first time. To be honest, Travis can make autotune, which I don't typically find good, sound amazing. Something about it, and the combination of the trap-esque beats being underlaid behind his lyrics just sounded right, and I couldn't pinpoint what it was about it.

The maps app that was on my phone told me to follow the interstate until I got the the heart of Atlanta, and only then was I supposed to get off. After continuing to violate numerous speed limits unknowingly, the downtown skyline came into view, shimmering within the night sky. I hopped off the interstate and experienced first-hand the wrath of the most aggressive drivers I had ever encountered before, until I got to the park where Symere claimed to be.

Stopped at a red light, I opened my phone and dialed Symere's number, with him picking up immediately, telling me that he was sitting on a bench across the street from the SkyView. The SkyView was this huge, out of place looking ferris wheel that sat across the street from the park. It wasn't hard to miss, and I drove a couple of blocks down the street to see Symere sitting on a bench looking depressed.

It broke my heart to see Symere slouched over, dreads dangling in front of his magical eyes; he looked heart broken, which made me heart broken as a result. He was sitting on the bench staring at his phone, with the same sad eyes he gave me the last day we spoke. I hated thinking about that day.

I pulled up to the curb, and quickly honked the Cadillac's obnoxiously loud horn that was on par with a train's. Symere looked up from his phone, and began to walk towards the car with this cute, fruity little swagger that made me blush. I unlocked the car, and Symere opened the door, sitting down without a single word. I was going to break down and apologize and tell him the truth right then and there, but him sitting down without a word took away the small amount of confidence that I possessed. I abandoned the idea, shifted the car into drive, and began the drive back home.

The ride was incredibly quiet, with Travis' songs and occasional chuckles and huffs from Symere, who was looking at his phone the entire time, being the only sounds that arose from the car. This was the exact opposite of how our ride went two weeks ago. That car ride to Symere's house was fun and chill as hell; this one wasn't.

I returned back to the interstate, now traveling eastbound. The ride continued to remain awkwardly quiet, and I really did not like the silence. So, to get a reaction out of Symere without saying a single word, I sped the Cadillac up to 100 mph, and cut off a semi truck, acting as if I had some radicalized death wish.

Symere flung his head back to face the truck behind us, and looked at me with a crazed and angered look. "Jesus Christ, Jordan, do you even have a damn license?" he yelled. I laughed, pulling out my wallet and handing it to him as I regressed back to our original speed. Symere opened it, and then tossed it onto the dashboard.

"I don't need yo' damn wallet." Symere pouted, beginning to lean his head against the window again. I looked over at him and sighed, as I pulled onto the off-ramp for Mableton. We sat at a red light as soon as we got off the freeway, and I looked over at Symere again, who still had his head pressed against the glass. "Now is your chance, Jordan, you need to apologize; it's now or never" I thought to myself.

"Symere," I began to speak up, "I'm not sure how to properly phrase this, but I'm really fuckin' sorry about how shit went down that morning. I was bein' too aggressive with shi, and I didn't know how to properly voice my feelings." Symere's head lifted from the window, and shifted to face in my direction as the light turned green. He stared at me, in an uncomfortable silence as I continued to make the short drive from the interstate exit to Symere's neighborhood.

No words were exchanged throughout the rest of the journey to Symere's house, and I came to the conclusion that my attempts to make peace and reconcile with Symere were in vain, and that I should just go ahead and give up hope. These thoughts resonated as Symere's house came into view, and I parked outside, next to the curb. Symere was still facing me when he decided to speak.

"I appreciate your apology, Jordan, it means a lot." Symere spoke, almost emotionless, and with a straight face. In terms of expression, it wasn't exactly what I had imagined and hoped it to be, but it was better than him full out rejecting me. "Yeah, you're welcome." I mumbled, nodding my head slightly.

Symere looked towards his house. "Thanks for the ride too, I appreciate it." he expressed. I once again mumbled in response, one of my many bad habits. He opened the door, and began to step out. I decided to speak up at the last moment, to tell him how I really felt.

"Hey Symere, I als-" My statement was interjected by the passenger door slamming shut. Symere was walking towards the front door of his house, not even looking back, seeming as if he'd never heard me. "Fuck," I thought to myself, "I wasn't fast enough."

Symere opened his front door, and walked into the house, turning around to face me, waving. I gave a small wave back, with a blush that I felt was way too noticeable. As soon as Symere went inside, I pounded my forehead on the steering wheel in pure frustration. I was so close to getting Symere, but I just didn't make the moves needed to get him at the right time, which made it even worse to think about.

I figured that I could just go home and sleep over it, which was the decision I ultimately made. Besides, it was late, even for someone like me.