Heartbeats

Chapter 15

Him...

No one warned me how beautiful Bulgaria is, but it's like something out of a fairytale. Is it any wonder that such a breathtaking place gave birth to the most remarkable woman on the face of the earth?

We arrive a few days ahead of the wedding to make sure everything is in place for the ceremony, and she totes me around like she knows the place like the back of her hand, introducing me to family and old friends, taking me sightseeing in the countryside, and driving me completely crazy with the nuances of her voice as it cascades naturally over the native tongue. She leaves me in a near constant state of arousal, which is incredibly frustrating considering she's decided that all intimate activities are off limits until after the wedding.

"To make it more explosive," she says, tugging my bottom lip between her teeth and causing me to groan. As if that were physically possible.

We're standing in a blue hole at the base of a waterfall in the mountains and we're supposed to be finalizing our set list for the reception, but instead she's managed to scale my body, wrapping her legs around my midsection and making me forget what music I even like.

As she rocks her hips forward against mine, I reach up instinctively to pull down the bottoms of her swimsuit. "Uh-uh..." She breathes out against my neck at the last possible second, too worked up to formulate real words, but still holding strong to her prior conviction.

"Why not?" My question comes out more desperate than I anticipate and I would be embarrassed if her responding laugh wasn't increasing the friction at our most important point of contact.

"Because..." She finally gets out, pulling back to look me in the eye. "You'll thank me later. Just kiss me."

I pull her in and when her lips find mine, I realize that just kissing her is more erotic than any other experience I've had with another woman, and somehow, beneath the raging lust and sheer impulse to have my wicked way with her, I am able to concentrate on the feel of our tongues as they glide over one another and it's enough.

~*~

We become husband and wife on a Saturday morning in June on the terrace of a medieval castle nestled in the hills by the sea. I've never felt more like a king, a sentiment that has less to do with my surroundings and more to do with the queen who chooses to take me as her own.

Ever since the boys learned to walk, they've only tolerated one speed, so it's no surprise to me when they come sprinting down the aisle in a race to see who can secure the spot right beside me, giggling all the way. They might have my face, but they have her fire.

They make way for my daughter, our daughter, a delicate princess in a wash of lavender tulle. She's nervous as she drops the pedals, her eyes glued to mine until she comes to a stop at my side and turns to welcome my bride, her mama, and it's the way she reacts when the doors open that send my gaze dancing along their trajectory.

She asked me once during the planning phases if it was all any less special the second time around. At the time, my heart ached for her, for us, for the future I managed to mess up, but as she walks toward me—a vision in chiffon and Chantilly lace—it doesn't feel like a second chance, it feels like the beginning of forever.

My handwritten vows say as much, but I find that I am speechless and teary-eyed when it's time for me to share them with her. It's all too much, standing here, holding her hands in mine, giving her the forever she earned the second we locked eyes.

I look down at the space between us to gather my thoughts, and no one notices the tiny curve at her belly except me. It's still our secret, but somehow it's fitting for our whole family to be here for this occasion, all standing together, committing ourselves to one another.

When we've both pledged ourselves to each other, the morning sun sends its rays cascading over the crowd like a blessing and the peaceful inevitability of forever overtakes my kiss. Our lips have touched thousands of times, and somehow, this is the one that ruins me.

Her...

We were never very good at hiding it, and it's a relief that we don't have to anymore. Kissing him openly, freely, passionately in front of our closest family and friends (and probably a few paparazzi who managed to scale the walls of the medieval fortress) is a riveting experience.

After it's all said and done and the party dies down, he insists on carrying me into our honeymoon suite bridal style, and it's at that very moment I realize how inconceivably ridiculous it was to ever shy away from the inevitability of forever with him.

His touch is equal parts tender and tumultuous, both amorous and unrestrained. I want to say, "I told you so," but my playfulness dissolves into need as he pulls at the ties holding together the corset of my dress while nibbling at the column of my throat. From that point forward, it is a flash of heat and passion, both of us too wound up to make it last.

I wake up some time later. Still dazed from the intensity of my release, I smile to myself and pull the covers up over my naked form. After taking note of the shower running in the bathroom, I decide to indulge myself for a moment, flipping on the television and scrolling to the show that made all of this possible. I don't do it very often, especially not since we've gotten back together, but I still know my favorite scenes by heart.

"What are you doing?" He asks, slipping out of the bathroom a few minutes later in nothing by a low slung pair of sweatpants. I had been so caught up in the nostalgia of it all to hear the water shut off.

"Sometimes I like to watch us." My eyes scan the ground, avoiding his like my admission is something to be ashamed of. "It's just, we didn't do a very good job of hiding our true feelings and sometimes I like to look back and relive it."

I know that he would never judge me for anything, but somehow this feels too raw, even for the first night of our honeymoon. When I drag my gaze to meet his, I see nothing but fascination in his eyes like I'm the most interesting creature he's ever laid eyes on. "Tell me more," he breathes out, like I'm whispering sweet nothings in his ear instead of describing the technicalities of our acting skills.

"Well..." my voice trails off, somewhat distracted by the way his fingertips graze the skin of my inner thigh. I swallow and force myself to trudge ahead. "I, for one, never manage a scene without glancing at your lips at least once."

"Is that so?" His hand slips inside the band of my panties and I almost lose it then and there. "What about yours truly? Is there anything about my performance that draws your attention?"

"Definitely." My voice falters momentarily as he grazes his target only to taunt me by withdrawing completely. "Those eyes," I breathe out, once I've recovered enough to remember what I was talking about. I turn to find them on full display. "The way you're looking at me right now, like you want to completely devour me, your bedroom eyes made their fair share of appearances on the big screen."

"What can I say?" He's rolling his eyes and tossing his arms behind his head before I can elaborate. "I've never had an ounce of self-control when it comes to you, but I am impressed that you've noticed the effect you tend to have on me."

I giggle and the embarrassment subsides, lending itself to wholehearted devotion and trust. No matter what lies ahead, I know we're in this together.

He catches me off guard when he hops off the bed and retreats into the ensuite closet, but my heart still manages to hammer in anticipation as I wonder what he's got up his sleeve.

When he emerges with a floor length mirror in hand, my eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What are you doing?"

He balances it against the wall across from the bed and returns swiftly to my side, drawing my feet into his lap and sending me his signature smirk. "You said you liked to watch us, so here you go." I'm on him instantaneously, the insatiable need to cling to him suddenly more than I can bear as I straddle his waist, tugging on his pants until I've got him right where I want him.

I can't take my eyes off of us as we move together, completely mesmerized, overtaken by the power of it all. In this moment, we are not our characters or our baggage, we are not who other people think we should be. In this moment, as we fall apart before my very eyes, we are everything.