Strings Of Fate

Chapter 1

He'd wanted freedom. Not from the family, not really, but he'd wanted to see more from the world than the circus. Things took a much darker turn. 

No one left the circus. Even if someone stayed at the winter quarters, they were family still and they couldn't venture further than the grounds of the compound. They quickly squashed his desire to travel and see the world. Stripping the few freedoms he'd enjoyed from him when he refused to give them up so quickly. 

He ran.

And now they were under his balcony. He looked up at the dark sky, the night fast rolling on to them. A poster declared they would be there all week. One week to resist the call. He needed to stay in tonight. If he could resist the first night, the others would roll on and they'd have no idea that he was here. 

He wasn't a hybrid anymore, after all. He'd been smart enough to break that enchantment. His soul was forfeit, but as long as he breathed and stayed away, he was safe from them. 

Or he could go back and have the family he was missing so much again. Give up this life which had turned cold and go back to the frying pan of the circus. It'd hurt. They turn him again. Rip the human skin from him and return the steel collar to his neck to keep him theirs. Was it any worse than debating jumping from the top of the apartment block? That impulse was easier to resist than going back to the circus. Even without the old man, there were a few people who would be heartbroken if he followed through on it. 

The icy chill of isolation and loneliness and grief or the overwhelming heart of love and care at a cost; which was worse?

He needed a beer. 

Empty bottles clattered around him as he stood and stumbled into the kitchen. Unwashed dished stacked up to the side and around the sink. A thick layer of dust over everything and when he opened the fridge, nothing of worth was inside. No beer, no food, just a moulding piece of cheese and some ketchup on the door. 

So much for not going out.

The pull to go into the jaws of the beast returned. There would be food. Sweets and junk food for the prey and in the back a trailer that made food for the workers. If Fisher was there, he'd force-feed him some decent grub and get some more meat on his bones. It was such a bad idea. If he realised who Terrence was, he wouldn't be feeding him. If he didn't, he'd point him towards the food stalls. Even they would be better food than something from the shop though. 

His fists tightened. If he went tonight, it would be over and he could sleep without the anxiety and without wondering if they knew he was only metres away from their control. Maybe it was better to go tonight. 

A loud bang made him jump as someone battered against his door.

"Oi Terry! You in?" shouted a cheerful and familiar voice, the banging not stopping.

Terrence rolled his eyes, pausing a moment to let his heart calm down. For a moment, he'd thought the answer was right there. But no, it was just Daniel, his younger next-door neighbour. He could pretend not to be in. He wasn't in the mood to deal with the man right now. Daniel meant best, but he had the strange obsession with not letting Terrence drift endlessly in his own sadness. He also had a spare key and was not afraid to use it if he suspected there was a problem. 

"Danny?" he shielded his eyes as the bright fluorescent light from the hall flooded into his dark apartment. He'd been too busy thinking about the circus to do anything as sensible as turn on the lights. "What's up?"

"Get your coat on, we're going out," beamed the younger man, pushing passed Terrence into his living room. "You're not moping about here any longer." He turned the light on and gave Terrence a look. 

Terrence was conscious of the eyes taking in his stained t-shirt and joggers with holes forming in them. Not to mention his unwashed hair and stubble. The day hadn't been a great day. Made so much worse when he realised just where the circus had set up, but even before the circus music had started, it had been a bad day. Then there was the state of his place, but Danny was too busy digging out something that looked better than the comfy clothes he was wearing. 

"For pity's sake's Terry. How many bottles have you had today? You promised you wouldn't drink on your own anymore." Daniel screwed up his nose at the smell and moving to open the balcony door. "Get dressed!"

"Only two. Where are we going?" Terrence knew the answer to that one. He took the cleaner clothes and started changing into something a little more acceptable to leave the apartment in. The cold air from outside made him shiver, but he didn't move to shut the door. The circus music drifted in and tightened around his neck again. 

"Take three guesses," Daniel rolled his eyes, groaning as he saw the state of the sink. "How are you going to clean up with it like that?"

"I don't want to go to the circus." Only he really did. How to explain the confusing mix of feeling swirling in them to Daniel was complicated. Especially while his friend was judging him hard right now. He continued to change, dumping the dirty clothes in the hamper to the side. 

"When was the last time you left the house?" Daniel said, moving some precariously stacked dishes to the side to clear the sink. Water ran. Daniel wasn't expecting an answer.

"I..." Terrence closed his mouth and nodded. He fled to the toilet and cleaned up a little more. The bathroom was in a better state than the rest of his flat. If Daniel was planning on washing up, he had time to shave and look more together. If they caught him, looking like he was unhappy and unloved was going to make them move quicker.

It didn't take long. He removed the stubble and cleaned up a bit. There wasn't much he could do about his hair short of showering, and that would be rude with Daniel in his kitchen. Pulling on the clean shirt, he found his jacket and heeled on some boots. 

"Danny?"

Daniel turned and gave him another once over. The younger man had got a surprising about the plates done. There was still a lot to do, but it was no longer covering every surface in the small area. Grime covered where they had been. He needed to clean that down soon. And put the dishes away and finish the ones Daniel hadn't got to, and he needed to do some loads of washing and hoover and. Daniel was in front of him, eyes locked onto his face. Terrence knew that look. 

"Come on, you need to get out of here for a bit," Daniel said, patting his shoulder and leading him out of the apartment.   

Terrence hesitated on the threshold. This was a stupid plan. He was vulnerable and open at the moment. He was prime picking, even if they didn't notice that he was already theirs. And he was going to walk into the place with someone else who was lonely on his arm. There were so many reasons this was a terrible idea, but he wanted to go. 

Daniel tugged on him, talking a mile a minute about random things. All noise and nothing important, and begging Terrence to let Daniel try to help in the only way the man knew how. 

"Come on! Don't chicken out now. There will be cotton candy and chips and corny fortune-tellers and maybe some cool-looking artwork and patterns. Plus the hybrids. They'll be cool to see! And the performance is meant to be out of this world and I have tickets for the 9 slot and they were really expensive and you need this!" Daniel's stream of words fast turned from sensible and more together to desperate and begging.

"Okay, okay," Terrence relented, swallowing as he shut the door and locked it. Anything had to be better than drinking himself into another stupor again. 

Daniel let out a noise of excitement and promptly attached himself to Terrence's arm. Terrence smiled and listen to the younger talk about random things with amusement. Commenting every now and again to make sure he knew he was still listening. But every step felt like a mile. He was walking into the lion's den. Or rather, the tigers.