Ambedo

That smile

I've tried by every means to stop thinking about her, to forget her presence in my life. I have tried to relieve the pressure that pressed my lungs against my ribs, that suffocated and haunted me every day, by trying to forget her, by attempting to suppress every emotion she ever caused me. I tried and for some days I could. But goddam if it has been hard, it has been impossible to pretend she never existed.
I surrendered hopelessly on my mission to forget her presence when I saw that little girl clutching tightly her mother's finger as they walked down the street.

"Mom can we get some ice cream?" the little girl said, looking up into her mother eyes.
"Sure darling" her mother answered, and as she did, I saw how the little girl's lips curved widely.

That smile.
I had seen that smile before, it was utterly impossible not to recognize that smile from miles away, it was a smile that you do not find in magazines. Ella's smile was recognizable wherever she went. It wasn't perfect; but the way her cheeks blushed and rose whenever something made her laugh, and the simple way her lips curved in such a unique way, made me wonder if my smile ever portrayed so much happiness as her's did.
I remember the first time I saw her, laughing as she walked down the hall with a friend. When I saw her the only thing I couldn't get off of my mind was the way she smiled.

"Ella, I'm really worried about this exam" said the girl walking right beside her.
"Stop worrying so much about everything Mia. I'm sure in ten years this exam won't even matter anymore" she said with a comforting smile on her face.

I know we were young and I was never really into poetry when I was that age. But I swear to god that when I saw her, I saw the most beautiful poem ever written right in front of my eyes. It just seemed as if; someone had tried to make me feel the power of all the words ever spoken, the rush of all the emotions ever felt by somebody, and all the beauty ever exposed for someone to be pleasured by it, in the simple image of her smile. And just in that fraction of second when she walked on by, I knew I couldn't let her pass by one more time without talking to her.