Two Steps Ahead

i dreamed a dream

I tested him by shifting an elbow. He was on me instantly, his harsh whisper in my ear. Turning me around to face him, he locked both my hands with one of his. With his other hand he lifted my dress over, starting to finger me. He went deeper and faster.

It's two in the morning when my sleep is interrupted. The aching weight of consciousness flooded my muscles, and I groaned. Waking up hurt.

Seriously, did I watch porn? I haven't slept with someone since a while now, there's no way it actually happened.

My eyes grow heavy and flicker into darkness due to exhaustion. The day indeed was long and tiring. With so much happening today, I had a rough time keeping up. I was prescribed a bunch of medicines for my concussion. After taking the pills, I've slept almost the rest of today.

However, the only productive thing I did today was visiting Grace after we were done with my doctor. We were not allowed to go inside the cabin. I saw her through the thick glass door. She was laying unconscious, bandages and bandaids wrapping most of her body. Saline and blood was simultaneously infused in her through her veins. I couldn't hold back the tears watching her in there thinking if I was really responsible for this.

Aiden and his Spanish girlfriend are staying the night with me. To be precise, in my bedroom, on the floor. You must be wondering why the hell are they staying with me, right? I have the same question. I asked them to stay in Grace's room since it was empty, but Aiden insisted to stay here.

They had been giggling and mumbling the whole night. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I overheard bits of their cringe conversation. And yes, I did learn her name. It's Valeria.

It's ten in the morning when I finally wake up to Aiden yelling in the other room. Through the closed door comes raised voices, each to and fro of the verbal fight getting more shrill, more severe. I tiptoe to the kitchen, finding him yelling at no one. Valeria tries calming him down, but little does she know, how short-tempered this boy is.

During the time I dated him, I guess I was able to ignore all the red flags, like a foolish little kid in love, but I was. It was only a year and a half into our relationship that things started going downhill. I guess even love isn't enough because as I gradually started losing myself; I knew I was scared of the man I claimed I was in love with. At a time during an argument that he could have overlooked, I watched as the nerves in his neck swollen. He raised his clamped fist as if to punch me, but he didn't. Rather he shattered the glass cup beside him. I shivered. I knew then, if this is the love I was getting, I want no part of it. So I decided to leave and he encouraged it, after all he said, 'leave if you want'. So I did.

"Good morning," Valeria gestures me to come join them at the breakfast table. Aiden doesn't look at me. His gaze is fixed at the cereal bowl sitting in front of him.

"Morning," I say, reaching out for the cereal box while I sit at the other end of the table.

We have our breakfast without talking. When the silence became uncomfortable, I glared at him. His face is red because of the rage pulsing through his veins. Clenching his jaws and pressing the teeth together, he tries to tame his anger. I notice a flash of irritation on his face whenever Valeria attempts to make him talk, but he doesn't lose his temper. I'm impressed to see the change she has brought in him.

As much as I tried to shove that feeling off, it hurts. Being here on the dining table with my ex boyfriend and his girlfriend it's terrible.

The doorbell rings followed by two knocks. Before I get the chance to stand up from my chair, Aiden has already answered the door.

It's Alex. He'll be joining us for breakfast which I don't think is appropriate, considering the fact that he thinks I'm the one who hurt Grace. I decide to have my cereal in my room for the sake of maintaining peace.