Not Your Hero

Chapter Two

Zelda and I rode in a comfortable silence, hearing nothing but the occasional swell of wind and the impact of hooves on dirt. All I felt was Epona's mane between my fingers and the gentle bounce as she walked below me. Zelda and I fell gently into our pattern. When we would travel, we would ride peacefully, quietly. Until something happened, even something very small, a horses misstep maybe. Then we'd react, likely the same way, look at each other, and just smile and sometimes laugh. We were just in sync. We experienced together. Everything we felt, the other felt too. Well, we used to.

"What will you be wearing?" Zelda asked, breaking our pattern. "We are nearing the stable, I figured I'd start a conversation."

I didn't respond right away, considering the answer. I had packed my Gerudo set, but I hadn't made my decision.

"You know I'm sure they would bend the rules for the hero of Hyrule," she stated while giving me a soft look that I didn't reciprocate. I remained facing forward. "Link?"

I gripped Epona's mane tighter, giving her a bit of a start. I began blushing as the possible scenarios began playing out in my mind. Before she could say my name again, I shook my head.

"Alright," she said gently, almost defeated but trying to hide it. She didn't like when I closed myself off like that, but sometimes I couldn't help it. It was as if somehow one day I swallowed a lump of coal, but it never went all the way down. It broke in two, one positioning itself right in between my vocal chords, and one where my appropriate emotional response controls should have been.

I sat there, a horse width from her, wracking my brain for any way to ease the tension. The all too familiar tightness in my throat came back, the lump of coal, the block. I tried to open my mouth to make any sort of noise, anything to get her attention, anything to even signal my horse. Anything to prove to myself that I still could.

Nothing.

I let out a long breath. I resigned to breathing, as there wasn't much else I could do. I did something Zelda taught me, actually. A breathing pattern to help you calm down. I didn't feel especially anxious, but I figured it was worth a shot.

"I remember teaching you that," Zelda said, knocking me out of my focus. I looked at her confused as to how she noticed. "You're breathing rather heavily. Is everything alright?" She seemed more concerned as she took in the face staring back at her. I knew the face I was making. She had commented on it before. Your fear scares me, she had said. I didn't know why she said this, I still don't, but all it did was add guilt. It made me feel nervous to show any sign of negative emotion, as if I wasn't terrified already.

"You're safe, you know. With me, I mean." It was always about her. I looked to my boot between us, took one more deep breath, and forced a smile as I met her gaze again. I gave a short, sure nod. This seemed to satisfy her.

"Just around this hill. And the sun is about to set, how fitting!" I was relieved she moved on. Having her eyes on me like that always made me uncomfortable. I loved her eyes, and at a surface level, how they met mine. But I always felt like she saw deep into me, to the parts I didn't want her to see. I was always afraid she never really saw me, whoever I decided that was.

I finally had an idea to ease the awkwardness, and I knew she would enjoy it too. I slapped my thigh twice to get her attention, and I signed,

"Race? First to the stable gets a soft bed." She lit up immediately. For a princess she was rather competitive. Then again, she was a lot of things you wouldn't expect from a princess. She leaned down on her ride, looked forward, and gave a stern nod.

I spurred my horse on with a "Ya!" which brought me almost as much relief as the sudden burst of air on my face. I heard her laugh over the galloping of our horses as I began to pass her. She yelled something I didn't catch and spurred her ride to go faster. I used my non-verbal cues with Epona and she understood. It may have been sneaky, but I used what we would do when fleeing from enemies before everything. She knew to go fast.