Red Rum.

Eleven.

Through the vent revealed a miniature paradise, a secret room that resembled an island like the Bahamas. It was covered in crystal white sand and lined with palm trees. There was also a miniature bar on the far side of the room....that is rather strange. Otherwise, I was completely in awe of the amazing setting. While I was taking in the small setting Ash was already sitting under a tree, "You coming, Rainne?" I snapped back into reality and sat next to him among the tree. I then realized the palms were lined with white christmas lights and the ceiling of the room was covered in stars, it felt as if you were really outside. "I kind of wish that you were able to live under these conditions forever, I wouldn't mind giving up life where I live to stay out here," Ash stared up at the artifical stars and sighed. "Me too," I start making circle patterns in the pile of sand to my right. "So, where were you before enrolling here?" I give him a questioning look, "I mean, how was life before moving here?"

I honestly always hated that question with a burning passion. It seemed as if everyone was interested in the life I hated since birth. When the sperm donor left I was instantly admitted to therapy because it was such a 'huge deal' that thing left my family for the perfect Barbie world. I'd always get pulled out of class to be asked 'how I was' or 'was my life at home better or worse since it left?' What I wanted to know is since the hell when did they care how my life was? They didn't know or care who I was until it left and I'd rather them not care.

I take a deep breath, "My sperm don- I mean, dad cheated on my mom a while back, he divorced her and left our family in shambles. He is ten times happier now with Barbie in her dream home along with her daughter, Barbie II in a perfect world." He looks at me with a sympathetic look, "I'm sorry, losing a parent is hard, man." I look up at him, a dazed look in his eyes, "Yeah, so, uh, what about you?" 

He looked almost stunned that I would ask a question like that, I can tell I will clearly regret asking that question in future. Before I could take the question back he sighs, "Well, life for me is pretty good. I live with my grandmother and her dog, Poodle."

"She named a dog Poodle? Is it a Poodle?"

"Actually, no, she is a Beagle."

"A Beagle named Poodle, that's uh-- interesting."

"Yeah, well, my little sister named her Poodle."

"Awe, your sister is probably quite young, is she?"

"Yeah, she's eight."

"Awe, that's so cute!"

"Yeah, she's a little demon dressed in a bunny suit."

"I'm sure she loves that metaphor."

"Yeah, well, my brother knighted her that."

"And how old is your brother?"

"Uh..well, he would be five in a few weeks"

"Would?"

"Yeah, he died a few months ago."

"Oh my god, Ash! I'm so sorry."

"No, it's fine."

My depraving curiosity was aching to know what happened to his brother, I suppose Ash sensed that for before I could ever get the thought set in my mind he started telling me his story, "It was a few months ago, my dad was deployed to Afghanistan for a few years. It was early, he called the same time as he always did, 6:45AM my time, 5:45PM his time, he spoke to me about my day, what new songs was I listening to, how Mom, Alison, and Jaxson were holding up, and how I liked the retro computer game he sent. Then, he spoke to Ali about how she was holding up, was she being good for Mommy and I, what Timmy Turner did this time, what her new nail color was. Then he went to Jaxson, was he being good, what Optimus Prime did this time, he'll be home soon. Lastly, he spoke to my mom asking about us, how were we financially and if the bills were getting paid, they'd talk and talk about everything going on, all the good food they were eating. He'd reassure her he'd be home as soon as he could and that he loved her so much, that she was strong, the love of his life. Then, they'd just stare at each other, not saying a single word, just hearing each other breathe was enough. She'd start crying a bit while twisting her wedding band, he did the same. They'd put one hand on the screen, trying so much to feel each other, trying to remember how they felt to the touch. Then, they'd say they loved each other and he'd say he loved us to every single one of us, tell us he'd be home soon then hang up."

I was in complete silence, taking in the story,

"We'd all watch the screen pause as he signed off, remember what he last looked like. Hours later the whole entire base was shut-in, communication lines were broken and the place bombed. Only a few escaped and my father was one of those lucky few. While running for cover a man took him out, one shot straight through the brain. Probably didn't even know what happened to him. One second he was running for his life, assuming he was safe, the next second he was oblivious to the world. Normally on the news they do the segment of local soldiers who are now fallen. We never bothered to look at it because we thought it never applied to us, we just had a deep gut feeling that he'd come home safe and sound. Well, I was getting Jaxson's breakfast ready, a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and apples cut into fourths, I was channel surfing and nothing good was on except the news. As if the world lined up just for that moment, I was taking the bowl from the island to the table in the breakfast nook when I heard it 'Master Sergeant Ethan Dawn: husband of Isabella Dawn, father of three: Jaxson Dawn, 4, Alison Dawn, 8, and Ashes Dawn, 15. Died June 15th in Kabul, Afghanistan, of wounds caused by sniper shot directly to the brain. Assigned to 18th Ordinance Company...' By then, the bowl of cereal was to the ground, milk flooding the tile and the shards of navy blue everywhere. My mom was was already walking down the stairs, you could hear her three inch heels tapping the ground as she saw me on the ground, frozen. The television was still going on about my father and his service, my mom--"

He started choking up, his face burning red, "..my mom was frozen, too, she started falling to the ground screaming bloody murder at the television hoping it was all a lie, that it was a hoax, that he was still alive. Going to his funeral was the worst, I've never seen so much black clothing and Kleenexes anywhere. While going to the open casket, my mom had the worst break down ever. She stood before him, a cold look in her eyes and started crying, 'Ethan, I know you can hear me, now wake up. This isn't funny, Ethan, we need you, I need you! Ethan? Please, Ethan. Ethan!" She took her hand and smacked him dead in the face while screaming for him to wake up and to stop. She was dragged from the ground and taken outside, while hitting and kicking everything in her path, trying to find closure. For the burial, my dad's best friend Sergeant Major Mitchell Carver, or simply Mitch, walked over to me with the flag just folded and whispered to me, 'Ashes Dawn, in honor of your father Master Sergeant Ethan Dawn, I present to you the American Flag in his honor. I know this is a hard time for you but you need to stay strong for your family, for him. He is very proud of you,' then he put it in my hands and saluted to it before tearing up and walking away. He also walked over to my mother giving her a rose and to Jaxson and Alison giving them teddy bears. While lowering the casket into the ground my mom just fell to her knees, putting her hands into the earth, crying, trying to make everything fake again even though it wasn't. We stopped by my aunts for dinner later, hours into her house there were major thunder storm warnings for the surrounding area.." at this point there were tears coming out of his eyes.

"Ash, you don't have to--"

"No..it's fine, it's fine."

He wiped the tears off his eyes and continued, "My mom was planning to spend the night with her sister but she left her medication at the house along with my inhaler and overnight clothes. She took Jaxson with her so he could pick a toy for himself and Ali and I stayed behind with our Aunt. Hours later, the phone rang, it was two in the morning then. My aunt dropped the phone and screamed in agony. Another death was in the family, and it was my own mother. The rain and flooding got so much worse and her car slid on the freeway, ran right into the path of an eighteen-wheeler, car was split literally in half and my mom was found three miles within the accident, her left arm and feet, still in heels, were found in the car. Jaxson was at a hospital nearby. We were at the hospital in Jaxson's room at the PICU, I held his hand hoping that some life would go back to him in some amazing shape or fashion. Found out that during the night his heart exploded and he had several blood clots in his brain. They were buried right by my father, my mom and dad's casket's so close they might as well be holding hands, and a small casket for Jaxson. I never held Alison or anyone else so close to my heart until after that. Never took people for granted. I lost my whole life in a week, never manned up so quickly."

Without even thinking I was in his arms, hugging him tight. This made me realize that I shouldn't take the ones in my family for granted but that doesn't mean I will ever be close to my father. Not all family is blood and not all blood is family, but I see the world a different way now, I now see what a real man looks like and I know I cannot give up Ashes Dawn.