you're so cute「kickthestickz」

maybe

9
PJ POV

as chris ran out, i had almost no time to realise what had just happened. his footsteps grew softer, until silence was all that was left in his living room.

pj, what did you do, you fucking idiot.

i thought about what i did and said.

did chris hate me?

why did I even consider doing sexual things to him?

should i look for him?

sitting here won't solve anything.

multiple voices argued in my head, but i pushed them all away and decided to go and make sure chris was safe, if anything happened to him i don't know if i could forgive myself.

i thought i liked chris, but i guess you can't simply force your feelings onto someone and think they will accept them just like that, you know?

i realised this wasn't the time to be thinking about this, i needed to find him and confirm my feelings.

after ten minutes of idling, i realised i needed him, right here, next to me.

i took my phone and chris' spare key and ran out the door. i decided to attempt to call chris, i needed him. now.

ring ring

please pick up.

just as i was losing hope, the phone connected.

'chris!? where are you?!' i immediately spoke.

'pj? what-'

'i'm sorry chris... don't leave so suddenly like that... tell me, where are you?' i manage, only after realising that maybe his existence was a lot more important than i thought it ever was.

'i'm at the park... near the fountain...' the quiet voice mumbles out. he was probably crying again.

shit. it hurts to know that you are the reason someone is crying.

'don't move.' i demanded, and hung up, hurrying towards the park.

i had wandered off into the opposite direction of the location of the park while searching for chris, which meant having to retrace the path i came.

by the time i reached the park, i was exhausted, but i could see a figure at the centre, near the fountain, and without a second thought, i started running towards it,

it was definitely chris.

without thinking, i pulled him into a hug, i just couldn't face the tear-stained face of chris. i felt sorry.

after a while, he calmed down and his arms slowly gripped onto the back of my shirt.

he snuggled his head into the crook of my neck, as if trying to get closer to me.

is it weird that i find my friend cute? the way he gently tugged on me, and how he somehow fitted perfectly in my arms,

it all just kind of made sense.

i could stay here forever, but obviously time doesn't work like that, and after embracing for a bit,

chris loosened and pulled away.

my arms felt empty, as if something was now missing. he looked up at me, although it was hard not to get lost in those eyes, i looked back at him.

'chris, i'm sorry, that was insensitive of me, it was scary right? '

...

'it wasn't that... i-it's something else... can you answer me this though? ' he finally spoke, after clearing his throat.

'yeah?'

'would you ever love me?' he asked, and i just stood there in shock.

but there was no point trying to lie to him, or myself, so i flashed a smile, and leant down.

'maybe.'