Howler | the marauders

the marauders +

Sirius Black

'Anyone who looked at him could tell he was standing on a cliff, one step and he wouldn't recover. His cheeks were hollowing out and his eyes have never seemed so tired. Tho if you looked in his hotel room past 9pm you'd either find him pasted out, his hand still gripping a bottle, or you wouldn't find him at all. The others worried, tho talking to Sirius was like talking to an empty room, sometimes if James kept it up for long enough Sirius would shout, but that was rare. Any type of reaction off stage was rare, even then he was only angry. Angry at his parents for not loving him, angry at James for being a better man then he was, angry at the bloody shorting hat for the never ending tragedy that was his life, angry at Remus for being able to move past the lack of love he got from his father, angry at Peter for never having big enough problems to talk about, but mostly angry at himself. He couldn't understand how he allowed himself to get to his point of not caring, he'd been driven by the need to prove his parents wrong all his life, but he now carried the guilt of not staying and saving his little brother. He was the Black heir, and now he is nothing, nothing but a person who can't function without a pill or a drink, how'd I let this happen.'

James Potter

'James never knew exactly where his life would go, if he'd become an auror, or lived off family money, but this, this isn't something he wouldn't ever wanted. He sat and watched his friends grow apart, some more than others. He tried in the beginning to bring them back together, to recreate the bond they once had, it only drove them farther apart. He thought it was a phase they would go through but recover from. It's been months, and Sirius kept falling, Remus grew resentful, and Peter, he became secretive. James couldn't understand, this was Sirius' idea, they thought they were changing the wizarding world for the better, but somewhere something went wrong. James felt guilty for thinking the fame was getting to their heads, because it couldn't be the life style. They lived on the road, yes James had a family home to go back to, Remus and Sirius didn't have families at all. James was angry, he let Sirius convince him to leave Hogwarts, leave Lily, leave his parents, did Sirius even tho they were sick? He blamed Sirius for his life going the way it is, if I could I would go back and tell him to piss off 1st year.'

Peter Pettigrew

'It started with missing a rehearsal, and then it was two, it turned into not showing up to a gig for Sirius to finally snap at him. Which in turn, made James defend Peter, Sirius took this as betrayal, that began the great fall of Sirius Black. Peter took no guilt in this, for he had only been looking out for himself, and in no universe would Peter ever tell the others where he had been running off to. So his only option was to tell Sirius he was being over dramatic, James agreed and thus the end of something amazing. Peter watched as James and Sirius' friendship fell apart, he'd smile to himself when Sirius would go missing for days. He thought pulling the pair apart would be near impossible, but slip a few pills into Sirius and it was easier than first year charms. Peter wondered if he'd regret this in the future, he decided he wouldn't, for it was him or them. The already strained friendship due to one time many after parties, was only one more fight away from James packing up and calling it quits on the whole plan, he's making this way to easy.'

Remus Lupin

'Remus couldn't remember when this turned from wanting to make the wizarding world safer, to a fight to keep his friends from falling apart. James and Sirius grew distant, which is something Remus never thought possible. During fights Peter stood behind James while words that cut deeper than hexes were being thrown between the two boys. Remus could feel his heart break for his friends, he always assumed he'd be the one of the four to fall apart, to become the one who amounted to nothing, but he looks at Sirius with regret. James is doing all he can but its not enough to pull Sirius from the whole he's dug himself. He can't help but wonder how different life would be if Sirius had stayed with his family, if the war would be worse. Merlin knows once Sirius is hooked on something theres no changing his mind, I wish he would've picked me to be his obsession.'

we drink the poison our minds pour for us, and wonder why we feel so sick.

atticus