No Strings

Chapter 12

It had been another month, the summer in New York making you thankful for the warmer weather. Rafael had slowly been leaving more things at your apartment, spending more and more time there, and that, you were definitely okay with. 

Then it happened, you were the last one in the office when a domestic violence call came in, a quick text to Carisi with details and you headed out. A squad car was already parked out front when you arrived, so without thinking, you entered the brownstone, announcing that it was NYPD. You hadn’t expected to find a gun pointed at you, and you certainly hadn’t expected to have to give up your own. You tried your best to talk the perp out of it, of letting everyone just walk out of there, your heart pounding in your chest as the gun turned towards you.

The uniformed officer had made a call in before entering the house, it wasn’t long until back up was there, including Olivia and Sonny. The minor details had been passed along, ESU was setting up, and the perp wasn’t backing down. Adrenaline was coursing through your body, keeping your senses heighten and on edge, working SVU had you shift to focussing on victims, shoving your instincts on situations like this to the back burner. Your brain was scrambling, trying to think clearly, while the uni was talking, and all it could focus on was Rafael. You prayed this wouldn’t end as badly as it could. 

******

Carisi had made the call, realizing that it was only fair to at least have Barba there when you came out, he hadn’t said anything, just gave him the address and to get there. 

“Anyone care to explain why you needed me out here before you even have a statement?” Rafael wasn’t impressed with being called halfway across town at the end of the day, especially on date night.

Olivia turned to him, a soft expression on her face, “We didn’t call you as the A.D.A…Y/N’s inside, perp was armed when she got there, she surrendered her weapon.” He went from annoyed to deeply concerned in a matter of seconds, feeling the colour draining from his face while trying to maintain composure, it had been nearly a year that you’d been involved, and he may have been holding back his emotions, he was absolutely terrified at the thought of something happening to you.

“You do have a plan to get her out of there safely?” Carisi could hear the ever so light shake in his voice.

“We’re workin’ on it.” An eye roll for a response, “Hey…she’s gonna be fine.”

“You don’t know that” Rafael muttered, Olivia gave him a sympathetic smile, squeezing his arm gently before turning back to the ESU team, figuring out their game plan.

Barely a moment had passed before shots rang out from inside, ESU, Liv and Sonny sprang into action and Rafael felt sick to his stomach, the bile piling in his throat as the scene unfolded in front of him, blood pounded in his ears. Officers were coming back out of the door, a woman with them, followed by the uni who’d been first on the scene. Trails of red speckled across their clothes. Raf could feel his eyes starting to swell with tears, doing everything he could to keep from running into the building himself. It was then that Liv came out, guiding a young boy over to his mother, behind her Carisi was at your side, a small girl in your arms, your shirt stained with blood. You looked shaky, frazzled, leaning on Carisi for support.

“Y/n!” He yelled, your face shot up, passing the girl off to Sonny, you quickly made your way over to him, “Oh my god.” He muttered quietly, reaching out for you.

“It’s not mine, I’m fine.” You shot out as soon as you were within ear shot, Barba made to pull you into him and you stopped him, “I’m covered in blood, I don’t wanna ruin your suit.”

Rafael laughed gently, “I don’t care.” He pulled you into the deepest hug you’d ever felt, you felt safe, you felt loved, you felt everything you hadn’t felt before. “All I care about right now is that you’re okay, that you’re alive Hermosa” Rafael stroked your hair gently with one hand as he pulled you tightly to him with the other, his heart still hammered in his chest, the thought of losing you was too much, you did your best to hold the tears in, the ones threatening to spill onto his chest.

After relaying your statements of what happened inside, talking with the people you needed to talk to, and a brief check up by a paramedic that Rafael insisted upon, Olivia sent you home. You were visibly shaken, sure, you faced dangerous situations pretty regularly, and were used to witnessing pretty horrible crimes, but it had been a while since you’d had a gun to your head. Squeezing Barba’s arm gently, you headed to the shower, being covered in someone else’s blood was never an ideal situation. The heat of the water streaming over you helped your body slowly relax as the crimson swirled down the drain, slowly scrubbing your body clean of the physical memories of the day. You took your time washing your hair and drying off while Rafael stewed in the kitchen, he’d poured himself a glass of scotch, not sure what else to even do at the moment. His head shot up when you padded back into the living room, clad in a pair of sweats and one of his old Harvard shirts, tears seemed to be swimming in your eyes.

“Drink?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper, you shook your head,

“Just you please.” He shot over to the couch, sitting with his back against the arm, pulling you into his chest, he could feel the vibrations of your body as you tried to hold back the tears, snuggling deep into his embrace. You let out a shudder of a whisper into his neck, “I love you…” Rafael’s heart both soared and shattered at your admission, he knew it came from a place of truth, a place of trust, but also a place where you realized you might not have gotten the chance to ever say it. He placed a kiss to the top of your hair, squeezing his arms tighter around you.

“I love you too.” Your body relaxed at his reply, the tension slowly leaking out, knowing that you were safe, and you were right where you belonged.