No Strings

Chapter 9

It was late June, Rafael and you had both privately talked your your own bosses, promising that if things started to get in the way of cases you’d recuse yourselves, and you’d been spending a little more time together, but still nothing too public. The problem being you were both too goddamn stubborn to be the first one to admit you had real feelings, so you simply continued doing what you’d been doing, continuing to refer to it as friends with benefits, much to the annoyance of Benson, who rolled her eyes every time it was mentioned.

Tonight happened to be Olivia’s birthday, and most of the squad (and friends) were meeting up at your regular spot for drinks and celebrations. You’d worked the morning shift, having time to get home and change before the celebrations. New York wasn’t as warm as you’d hoped tonight, so you opted for a pair of skinny jeans tucked into heeled boots, a dress styled tank top, you threw a blazer over top at the last minute, trying not to run late. 

Arriving at the bar seemed almost exactly like the summer, the air hung heavy with joy, tipsy-ness, and friends brought together in celebration. This time though, you felt a warmth in your chest as Rafael turned around at the bar, smiling, a second glass of scotch in his hand for you, which you accepted gratefully. He felt his heart flutter as he saw you smiling back to him, his entire being wanted to pull you into an unforgiving kiss, but he knew the squad was in the room, and didn’t want to take a risk.

“Thank you Rafa” You hum gently, discreetly squeezing his arm, taking a swig of the drink in front of you, luckily, everyone else seemed occupied with Olivia as the two of you make your way over to the tables of detectives and friends. You both gave your best wishes, and mingled through the crowds, managing to be within eyeshot, but nonetheless splitting amongst the crowds. 

As the night wore on, a few of the outer squad members started to say their goodnights, Liv and Rafael were at a small table against the wall, happy to be spending time with their oldest friends, while you had ended up up at the bar with Carisi, completely unaware of the eyes glued to you as you laughed heartily at something Sonny had said. Olivia couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, he may have been distracted but at least he’d still been actively listening to what she had been saying.

“When’re you planning on telling her?” She murmured into her wine. Barba turned to her, confusion on his face.

“Telling her what exactly?” Cue the eye-roll. 

“Raf, you clearly care about her, a lot.” She took a swig, “And last time I checked, she felt the same.”

“Oh please” He bantered back, “Look at her…she’s….”He trailed off, watching you, tracing the curves of your body with his eyes, remembering all the intimate moments you’d spent together, feeling a burn in the pit of his stomach as you gave Carisi a playful punch on the arm. You and Sonny did spend a lot of time together, but it was because you were partners, and that man was more than willing to help anyone out when they needed it, especially when he thought you didn’t have anyone in the city. A twinge of jealousy hit him, was there something more going on between you? Rafael took another large swig of his drink, trying to drown the feelings with the scotch.

“You clearly haven’t seen the way her eyes light up whenever your name comes up….or the way she stares at you in court.” She smirked, raising an eyebrow at the A.D.A. He let out a breath himself, “You know, when I had the meeting with her about disclosing…she seemed to really care about you, and Rafa…I know you, you need to talk to her.” He paused gently, swirling his drink, trying to sort out the thoughts swirling through his head.

“I will.” He took the final swig, finishing the last of his scotch before glancing to Olivia as she gave him the nod of approval, “Happy Birthday Liv.” Barba squeezed her arm affectionately before grabbing his coat, heading up to the bar. Carisi was looking a bit too close for comfort by now, in the prevention of someone causing a scene, Olivia called out to the detective, waving him over to the table. She kept his attention occupied as she watched you beam towards Rafael, he stroked your face gently, clearing asking if you were ready to go since your next move was to grab your blazer. You gave a glance and a smile over to Olivia, mouthing “Happy Birthday,” as the two of you snuck out of the bar into the New York night air.