Three Things Potter!

Chapter 2: Beginnings and Sortings

'Welcome back Mr. Potter, I see, you've been told three very important statements by Death itself.' The Sorting Hat communicated the moment Harry noticed his surroundings.

'You mean to tell me, that the conversation was real. I feel like my soul has just aged a couple of decades.' Harry thought back to the Sorting Hat and received an amused chuckle in return.

'Suspicious and cautious, I see, you'd do well in Slytherin. You'd also do well to remember the three statements.'

'Are you even going to let me choose this time, or are you going to straight up put me in Slytherin?' Harry thought rather tiredly.

'Well, I was planning on not letting you choose but since I'm an old hat that has been sitting on an old shelf getting dusty, thinking up a song each year and sorting students, I will allow you to humor me.'

'If it is only for the sake of your entertainment, then why would I humor you, it's just going to be a waste of time on both our parts.'

'Logical, I see, Ravenclaw trait, can't wait to get to the books Mr. Potter?'

'No, I simply don't belong in Ravenclaw, yes I like reading, but not for the sake of learning, I'm simply a survivor.'

'Mmmmh, self-preservation Slytherin trait,' the hat communicated, sounding rather bored as one would had they been sorting Hogwarts' students for a millennium.

'Are you just going to attribute everything I say to a house?' Harry snapped, somewhat annoyed.

'How else do you think you can humor me?'

'Whatever, I'll let you off considering how lonely you are. I will have you know that I'd kill for friends I intend to make in this life, and Slytherins don't do friends.'

'Strong loyalty, Hufflepuff trait'

'Actually, I need a break and Hufflepuff doesn't sound too bad'

'Yet you forget that you have once been a Gryffindor and have flourished rather nicely there.'

'I feel I don't belong there anymore, my soul has changed and so has my mind. I would be tempted to make the same friends and ignore the fact that my Ron and Hermione aren't the same as this time's Ron and Hermione.'

'Very well, Gryffindor is ruled out, I'm glad you've been able to acknowledge that distinction.'

'How about Hufflepuff, their loyalty is what I need.' Harry suggested, trying to reason with the old hat.

'Yes, but you forget that you have many upon many ambitions.'

'I can still make allies in Hufflepuff.'

'Yes, but you would be more successful at that in Slytherin.'

'It would make the Headmaster rather suspicious of my actions, probably draw comparisons between me and one of his students fifty years ago. But, I suppose you would be the best at making the choice.'

'Of course I am, I'm the Sorting Hat and I didn't even give you a choice, I was simply letting you humor me.'

'Why you little-' his train of thought was cut off by the Sorting Hat's declaration.

'Have fun in "SLYTHERIN," have a chat with me sometime will you!' the Sorting Hat declared and added the last part for the sake of it, it was a quarter Slytherin after all.

Harry internally scowled at the Sorting Hat as he made his way to the Slytherin table, not noticing the sudden silence that followed the declaration. The audacity of that thing, but he supposed he could use the object for advice and such.