~ 𝙰𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 ~

Without feeling [Xavier Plympton X reader]

Written by justauthoring on Tumblr, definitely give them a follow!

Request: can you write some Xavier angst where the reader dies at camp in 1989 while trying to kill Margaret and they get all emotional and angst ensues as he tries to keep her calm and help her adjust to life at camp ?

Pairing: Xavier Plympton x Reader

Word Count: 918

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"I... I don't w-wanna die."

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay." Xavier attempts to calm you, but nothing can stop the racing of your heart. Nothing can stop the fear that courses through your veins. You don't want to die here. You know what happens when people die in this place and... and you don't want that.

"It'll be okay. I'm here," Xavier continues, brushing back strands of hair that had fallen in your face. It sticks to your cheeks because of the blood that stains your skin, the bullet wound in the middle of your chest profusely bleeding. It won't stop bleeding. It creates a dull ache in the middle of your chest and every little shift causes a world wind of pain to flood your entire body. You want the pain to stop, but not here. "I'll be here."

You shift your gaze from the blue hues of the sky to Xavier's own, meeting his gaze. Your lips part to say something but your words end up getting choked up on your own blood. The blood that's pooling your mouth. Your vision starts to blur, turn white at the edges and with a startlingly realization, almost like a slap to the face, you realize this is it. You're going to die here and there's nothing you can do. Xavier doesn't understand; he probably thinks you dying here is the best outcome.

But... it's not what you want.

You find brief comfort in the warmth of his gaze. Still, even after all this time, he still looks at you like you're his world. He probably thinks this means the two of you can be together forever, and yes, that's exactly what it means. And yes, you love him. However, you don't want to be stuck in this Godforsaken Camp for all of eternity.

You should've never came back. You had a life; you were going to be something...

Letting your head lull to the side, you stare at the Camp Redwood sign, the reminder that you were so close but yet so far away. Just a little bit more and yes, you would've died but you would've been free.

Your eyes flutter shut, your strength giving away. Xavier's hand falls on your cheek, his thumb caressing the skin of your cheek softly in a comforting motion. You can't understand them and truthfully, you don't really hear him; but you know he's whispering sweet nothings in an attempt to reassure you that yes, it will be okay. In moments from now, it'll be like you never died. Now, the two of you can be together forever.

And most importantly, you'll never step a foot outside of this Camp again.

The world turns dark. There's no light, no last breath, there's just nothing. For a long while, that's all it is; nothing.

Then, your eyes open and you see Xavier staring back down at you and you inhale sharply. You spring up from your previously laid spot on Xavier's lap, eyes wide as you try to calm yourself. You're sure your hyperventilating, which you're not sure how because if your ghost, how can you even breathe?

Your hands pat around yourself, trying to feel if you can still.. feel. You can. You can feel the twigs and dirt beneath your fingers, and you can still feel your own clothing over top of your body. But as you press a hand against your chest, you feel no heartbeat.

"Y/N?"

Turning at the sound of Xavier's voice, you frown up at him. "I have no heartbeat."

The emotion of Xavier's face can only be described as pity. He shifts, moving until he's directly beside you and cupping your cheek, he nods. "You're dead, babe." It's said bluntly but his voice is soft, trying to deliver the news as easily as possible.

"I know," you mumble, nodding to yourself. "I just... didn't think it'd feel like this."

Glancing down at your hands, you meet Xavier's eyes with curiosity. You can feel his touch, but you still earn to touch another. With eager, you reach forward, pressing the palm of your hand against Xavier's cheek. He instinctively leans into your touch, this sense of ease washing over his face as he smiles. "I've missed you babygirl," he mumbles, voice a faint whisper. "So damn much."

At his words, you glance over your shoulder, staring at the same thing you had just as you died. You stare at your freedom, the freedom you'll never have before you turn back to Xavier, biting your lip.

"I missed you too, Xav." And you did. You truly did. It's why you came back in the first place, why you wanted to get revenge on Margaret for all the evil she'd done to Xavier and all of your friends. You just hadn't planned on staying. As much as you'd missed Xavier and as much as you loved him, you hadn't wanted to die. "I'm sorry I couldn't do it. Sorry I couldn't kill her."

"It's okay, babe," Xavier smiles, innocently naïve of just how... sorry you truly are. "I have you now."

Forever.

You nod, not able to force any words out. There's nothing to say.

"Come on," Xavier suddenly calls, slipping his hand into your own as he shuffles to his feet, moving to stand up. "The others have missed you as well. They'll want to see you."

You stand, letting Xavier pull you along. All while wondering;

will this emptiness ever fade?