podcast: the queer and the other one

small introduction

TW: vulgar language, mentioned drug abuse

I think it's fair to introduce the characters, even if the people that will see this most likely already know them. but who knows bitch, never say never ig 😩

Kyungwoo
-so, this lovely gent is the head of the family, aka the papa :)
-he's STRAIGHT straight.
-also the dilf blueprint
-would listen to Taylor Swift unironically
-hard shell, soft core
-secretly a sweetheart but shhh!
-that virgo energy is strong here
-posts pics of his wife and his wife only on insta
-"God will smite you"

Nanami
-this wonderful woman is the mama
and yes, she's the one who calls the shots but don't tell kyungwoo, you'll hurt his feelings.
-wholesome person over all, knows seemingly everything, wise af
-huge astrology believer
-could crush your skull between her thighs
- food photographer on insta
-popped out so many children, it should be forbidden
-"oh, sweetheart🥰"

Ichiro
-first born son
-himbo blueprint
-he's just... no thoughts, head empty
-gentle giant
-can't cook to save his life
-smells like your hands after peeling potatoes
-doesn't know what's going on 97% of the time
-built like an ikea closet
-best friends with Inoko
- [nods despite not knowing what you just said]

Inoko
-second child, first born daughter
-pretty much the second mother
-raised most of these rascals
-listens to yoshiko sai religiously
-cousins with the devil
-exerts motherly love
- short queen
-sings sea shanties while cleaning
-yes, she did beat Shiwon into a pulp when he was younger, what abt it 🙄
-her favorite child is Hina
-,,why are you talking so quiet-" [GUNSHOTS]
- "look, if you decide to have a
problem after midnight, that's between you and God."

Reiji
-third child
-God,, help this child.
-he's the comedic relief tbh, let out all of my childhood trauma on this poor man 💔
-also the favorite child
-a surgeon
-the only sane one in this household, believe it or not
-moved out when he got the chance to
-sat at the table with the nerds but never got bullied because God forbid someone picks on him 💀
-probably wishes that Thanos would've wiped out the whole human population, not just half of it
-has a dump truck, mans is dummy thick
-also the shortest,,, poor baby.
-"We are all God's children and he left us in a hot car."

Shiwon
-fourth child, twins with Akaya
-horny on main
-also built like an ikea closet
-internalised homophobia despite being a bisexual icon
-smells like absolute SHIT
-speaks in all caps
-would have to be constantly muted during online conferences
-aftercare king
-parents wanted him to be an organist in their local church
-his go-to cry song is Everything Will Be Alright by The Killers
-a huge stoner
-made Hina cry by saying that the stars are dead 🙁
-doesn't need light to find the toilet at night,, he just shits in the dark.
-"got so high last night, we searched for our friend while he helped us look."

Akaya
-fifth, twins with Shiwon
-grandma, his mental age is like 78
-hates beer & meat :(((
-really smooth voice???
-cat person, has around 5 feline friends
-bit Kyungwoo's kneecap once while having a temper tantrum
-uses granny perfume exclusively
-minimalism? idk her
-snorted glucose pills as a kid after Shiwon dared him to
-does embroidery to relax
-huge bookworm, wished to become an author as a child
-"God may judge but his sins outnumber your own."

Eunhee (second name Aiko)
-sixth child, second daughter, twins with Yoonsuk
-constantly claims she's lives to spite God but is actually just causing mild inconveniences
-short queen pt.2
-suffers from RBFS
-used to be a tomboy
-will kick your shin under the table just to feel somehthing
-broke a milk tooth while ice-skating for the first time
-speaks eight languages while simultaneously gripping onto one single brain cell she shares with yoonsuk
-flashed her college professor on one occasion and will never forget abt it
-fashion icon
-ideal date? trolling pro-lifers together
-when men ❤️
-"disrespect me like that again and I will pistol-whip your grandparents."

Yoonsuk (second name Haru)
-seventh child
-only ever visits maccas to buy a salad
-is omnipotent, probably
-sirenhead. what more do I need to say?
-RBFS king
-craves violence, filled with unbridled rage and is always this close to biting someone's head off
-somehow always calm on the outside
-doesn't talk much, driest texter ever, leaves people on read religiously
-can laugh without his face laughing w him 😐
-sleepwalks on the regular and says the darndest shit while doing so
-smells like squirrel and a hint of old spice
-yo, why he shitting so loud?
-put a fence around his part of the room that he shared with eunhee to make sure his side was staying clean
-clean freak, always using that hand sanitizer
-chaotic evil
-an introvert for life
-hates everything and everyone except for his mother
-listening to radiohead 24/7
-"that's me in the corner, that's me in the spotlight; losing my religion."

Hina
-the youngest child, last daughter
-LOVES women
- tall bitch 🙄🙄
-honestly,, chaotic
- she's a gemini,, so.
-the bisexuality is at its peak
-lowkey behaves like an only child 💀
-ambivert
-rocks them doc martens and mary janes, got that kinderwhore aesthetic
-ate glue as a kid to spite kyungwoo
-yes she is in fact a top, what abt it
-wants to peg twinks
-will beat up a nazi in a heartbeat
-makes art out of cursed shits
-went to art school and only survived w the help of molly 😩
-huge punk
-practised reading by walking into the masters bedroom at night and reading to her parents while they were knocked out, just to fall asleep on the floor after 👍
-"somehow I can't stretch out my essay about cupholders by adding a gratious handjob."