Chapter One

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Ayanokoji POV

    Honami-sama and I were sitting on a bus heading towards the high school we would attend. I was thinking back to that day, that I found freedom. There was a fire that covered the white walls that I called home.

    I was sitting in my bedroom, I searched for an escape, but there was none to be found. I was sure I would die there and I thought. ‘Would it really be that bad to die? What am I living for?’

    Though my death was interrupted by an old man running into my room, he put a wet cloth over my mouth and ran me out of the building. He had to guide me so I wouldn’t get lost in unfamiliar areas and towards the escape route.

    We got out, and I looked back at the building, as I did this there was an explosion. I don't remember much after that, there was ringing, my eyes filled with dust, the ground shook, as did my bones.

    When I woke up my head was in the old man’s lap, I hadn’t gotten a good look at his face yet, but I discovered that it was a man I knew very well.

“Matsuo, is that you?”

“Yes, it is me, Kiyotaka-sama”

    My body ached, my vision blurry, my ears rang, though, this was a matter of life and death. I squinted my vision and saw a parking lot, though all of the cars there were covered in fire, and that roads were blocked. I heard of a helicopter at this facility, but after searching for it I discovered the blast threw it off the roof of the facility, and it was broken beyond repair.

“Come, Matsuo, we should leave in search of a safer place, we never know if there could be future explosions.”

“Unfortunately, I will not be going anywhere”

    After hearing this I looked back at Matsuo, the blast had sent a chunk of metal flying in our direction, and it hit him in the abdomen. I looked down at myself to see if I was injured at all and found a long cut across my torso aswell.

“You will have to leave me behind, and save yourself. I don’t know how many, but lots of kids like you managed to escape aswell. I have directed everyone to go to the southeast and you should go aswell. There is a tourist town there, you should be able to find safety if you just go in that direction”

“Thank you, Matsuo”

    I saw his strength fade, it was obvious he was on the brink of death but kept himself alive just so he could tell me this.

“Matsuo, before I go, I need to ask you this. What is the meaning of life? Why should I keep fighting for myself? Why did I ever struggle for my own sake?”

“... I can’t answer that… everyone is different… if you want to live a meaningful life you must find that answer yourself… I was a special operative and fought in many different wars alongside the Americans, I lived very long solely for the sake of killing the enemy I was being paid to fight, and when I left the army I had to ask the same question you did… that was when your father found me and gave me a reason to live, that reason being so I can take care of you and provide for my son… In the world you are entering you must find someone to live for, and if you do that you can survive anything”

    The smile he had while he breathed his last breathes was interrupted by myself returning to reality. When I awoke I found that the seat which was once occupied by Honami-sama, but now has an elderly woman sitting in it, did I miss something? I soon found myself lost in my thoughts once again after having such a thought-provoking dream.

    Will I someday have that smile Matsuo had? Is Honami-sama the one I will live for? Lao Tzu said “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage” if that is the case then am I not the most defective man on this planet? I still do not know when I find the answers, but whenever I ask these questions, something in my mind tells me I will find the answer if I just stay by Honami-sama’s side.

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