Asterisk*

Impaler and Insurrection*

"My girlfriend. It's like she speaks in code or something. I would've failed computer science if I didn't copy off the guy sitting next to me."

"Maybe she's just tired of your McDonald's dates," I joked, zipping up my suitcase after lazily tossing a bunch of clothes in.

"Shut up," he drew out, slightly rolling his eyes. "That was only that one time."

I checked my phone for a message from Dash, who had insisted on picking me up and driving me home today. I tried to assure him I would be fine, but I think he was scared I wouldn't ever make it home if he didn't come. I can't blame him, really. It's so weird to see him care as a brother, instead of a parent. Instead of telling me how I should feel, he just was there. At one point, I felt like that was more than I deserved. I don't know if I still feel that way, but it's definitely something close.

There's Dracula, but then there's me, sucking the life out of every person that dares to come near me. As much as it hurt, I understood it. Understanding has never really been my problem. Rather, it's the fact that I have to do something about that understanding that scared me the most.

Dash as usual, wasn't on time. He texted me from a rest stop a few hours ago, telling me he'd be here an hour ago. I didn't think much of it because it was a pretty normal occurrence for him, but everything put me in panic mode now. I didn't even realize that I was bobbing my legs up and down in anticipation until Dash came into the room, pointing it out for me.

I had told him to wait outside, but I guess he must've not gotten the memo because he just strode in. I wouldn't be surprised if no one noticed because the halls were chock full of random people and people that I did know, mess everywhere from taking things home. Wrapping paper was everywhere. For the most part, everyone was screaming and laughing, celebrating their last day for now by dumping the contents of their binders in the trash can that the faculty had put there in an effort to reduce waste.

I didn't know what to do with the present I had gotten Apollo. It seemed evil not to give it to him, but I didn't want to be giving him things I poured my heart out into only to say goodbye yet again. It wasn't fair. Not to me, and especially not to him. So instead, I just left in the empty drawer, not wanting to see it until I got back in an attempt to not think about it again.

"So are you ready?" Dash asked, pointing to my bag. "I can carry it, if you want."

"I can carry a bag," I scoffed lightly, picking it up to prove my point.

"Okay, that's fine," Dash started, chewing on a piece of gum. "I don't know if mom told you yet, but we're going to Kadance's for dinner sometime next week. So maybe bring something nice to wear if you didn't already, yeah?"

"Oh."

"You know what, it'll be fine," Dash reassured, seeing the look of worry come over my face. "I'm sure I have something you can borrow."

I nodded as Dash grabbed the bag out of my hand, walking out of the room like he owned the place, beckoning me to follow him. It's stupid, but I felt safe from my own mind right now. I could latch onto him like I did when we were kids, let him be my protector from the demons that I conjured in my own mind. Usually, I would have been embarrassed still feeling like that, but I don't know what's happened to me in the last few days. I was just doing to live and vice versa. Nothing more. I really did feel like a little kid again, scared of the monsters under my bed, needing someone bigger than me to tell me that there's nothing to be afraid about.

I took a deep breath and headed towards the door, sticking towards the corner of the door frame, looking at my sneakers and studying the knots in my shoelaces. I wasn't thinking much until a shadow appeared in my doorway, making me look up, staring straight into Apollo's eyes. I stood there in silence, watching him start to tear up until he looked down on the floor, trying to compose himself.

He seemed like a mystical being, surrounded by his heart full of shining gold. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I really didn't have any explanation. There's nothing I could ever say to justify anything I did. This boy was truly the most amazing person I ever met. The fact that he was even here, willing to muster up some courage and not slap me in the face is something I don't know if I could ever do. I don't think I've ever missed someone so much. Not in this way. Not anyone like him.

Apollo eventually looked up, tears staining his cheeks in ways I never hoped to cause. Staring at him made me feel like the universe was going to fall apart, all the planets going out of orbit with the sun, disappearing in the universe like a white dwarf. A black hole sucking every strand of happiness out of me, exiting my heart at the speed of light, stealing away everything that I wish I could give to Apollo.

I took one last look at his face, seeing him opening his mouth to say something I knew that would break me. Instead of doing every single thing I wanted to do, I took one last look at his face, tears pooling in my eyes like I had been trying to hide for the last minute or so. Biting on my lip to stop it from quivering. So, I put one foot in front of the other, and passed through the empty space in the door frame, leaving Apollo standing in the doorway by himself.

The second I got to Dash's car, I started crying and didn't stop.