Before Rosa

[BR 38]

R A F F Y
Before Rosa 38

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"Hey. Reminder: Feb 14. The usual. -D."

Napakunot ang noo ko sa nabasa. Feb 14... that's Valentine's day. I'm not meeting him on Valentine's. First Valentine's namin ni Sia tapos siya ang makakaharap ko. Is he kidding me?

No. I typed. I'll see you on 13. May plano ako sa 14.

After that, I put the phone facedown on the coffee table. Ibinaling ko na ulit ang tingin kay Sia. Agad akong napangiti nang makita ang pagkunot ng noo niya. She seems genuinely worried about meeting Monic. Siguro'y natatakot siya sa magiging reaction nito. 

After we've hurt her, I am worried, too. But I know that Monic and Sia need this, as much as Dino and I do.

"So, tanungin mo na si Monic kung kailan," I urged. "Malay mo, this would be a good chance for you to have closure."

Sia blinked, a bit shocked. "You're really okay with this?" she asked.

My gaze softened. She's so adorable when she's worried. But not too much. I hate to see her cry.

"Yes," I said firmly. "I trust you with my whole heart, See. I know you won't break me."

Tumango siya, doubt slowly retreating from her face. "Okay." I watched her type on her phone and wait for Monic's reply.

"Sa 13 daw," aniya maya-maya.

"Perfect," I mused. Let's all have closure on the same day.

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May kailangan akong sabihin sa inyo, mga teh, hingang malalim. Mahaba-haba 'to eh.

Ready? Okay-

Sa Psychology, meron kaming way of classifying people through their personality types. Ang tawag sa test ay Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator, developed by Isabel Myers and her mother, Katherine Briggs. The test is a self-report inventory. Meaning, paper-and-pencil test (o pwede ring sa computer, if available) na ang individual mismo ang magsasagot base sa pagkakakilala niya sa kaniyang sarili.

The test was designed to identify a person's personality type, strengths, and preferences. Basically, kapag alam mo ang personality type ng tao, you can more or less have an overview of their personality. Helpful siya para sa 'ming counselors and psychologists, pati na rin sa human resource personnels na nag-aassign ng tao sa iba't ibang trabaho.

Pero aside from its professional use, maganda rin siyang gamitin as reflection sa sarili mo. Knowing your personality type will give you a sense of understanding as to why you act such a way. Isa pa, 'yung test naman, binibigyan ang takers ng pointers as to how they can improve themselves, based on their personalities. 

For example, I am an INFJ - meaning, I am (I)introverted, (N)intuitive, (F)feeling and (J)judging. People like myself are creative, insightful, principled, passionate and altruistic (someone who tends to think about how their actions affect others), as well as I am sensitive to criticism, reluctant to open up, perfectionistic, and prone to burnout.

Aminado ako, hindi ako perpekto. 

INFJs like myself have this habit of reducing people and realities into patterns and abstracts to make it easy for us to deal with them. We make versions of them in our heads and try to deal with that instead of the messy reality. Kaya naman kapag hindi namimeet ng tao ang expectations namin, nawawala kami, taken-aback and unable to function. On some cases, we project our feelings to the next animate object we spot. (see: my lashing out on Sia when she mentioned abortion.)