Before Rosa

[BR 37]

"Ang lakas mong huminga," reklamo ko. "Can you leave?"

Raffy gaped at me. "Seriously?"

"Yes." 

When Raffy continued to stare at me in disbelief, I kept my face neutral. Seryoso talaga 'ko. Kumukulo ang dugo ko sa simpleng paghinga niya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang rason at wala akong planong alamin. Just- I want him to stop bothering me.

"Hindi na lang ako hihinga," ammend niya sabay balik sa binabasa. 

Lalo akong nairita. Kung isa 'kong takure, ito 'yung part na naririnig mo na ang pagkulo ng tubig pero hindi pa pumipito. Konti na lang.

"No," I insisted, shaking my head. "I don't want to see your face, now. Leave." 

Raffy groaned in protest. "Sia!"

And that was the last string.  Imagine a kettle whistling at its loudest a single high note, but instead of a weeeeeeeeeee, it was, "SHHH! Raffyyyy!"

Defeated, Rafael stood up and turned to his room, the magazine still in his hand. I watched him close the door behind him.

Nang mawala siya sa paningin ko, I expected to feel better. Honestly.

Pero hindi yata talaga 'ko matatahimik. Suddenly, I felt a pain in my belly. Hindi naman sobrang sakit, not something I haven't felt. But, I felt the need to call Raffy, so I yelled his name.

I didn't see him come out of his room. One moment, nasa tabi ko na siya, asking me, "Anong nangyari?" Hinihingal pa siya habang tinitingnan ang sitwasyon ko.

I couldn't reply; only winced in pain. Dahil doon, inilagay ni Raffy ang ang kaniyang kamay sa ibabaw ng kamay kong nasa tiyan. "May masakit?" he asked again.

Instead of answering, I just took his hand and laid it on the spot where I felt the pain. I watched his face closely, looking for changes in his expression. Inabot ng ilang segundo bago ma-process ni Raf kung anong nangyayari.

"Sumisipa siya," bulong ko, wincing a little bit when the baby kicked again. "Nagalit ata sa 'kin kasi pinaalis kita."

I saw Raffy's face change from worry to relief. His shoulders relaxed visibly. Napaupo siya sa sahig sabay sandal sa coffee table, his hand still on my belly.

"Sia," he said, breathlessly. "Don't do that to me again."

A sheepish grin crept up my lips. I said, "I'm sorry."

Raffy only heaved a heavy sigh.

At some point, I wondered if he was mad at me. I contemplated on saying sorry, but stopped when he pushed himself away from the coffee table.

Akala ko'y aalis na siya kaya nagulat ako nang bumalik siya sa pagkakaluhod sa tabi ko. Inilapit niya ang kaniyang mukha sa 'king tiyan sabay bulong, "Andito na 'ko, baby girl. Stop hurting Mami na, ha?"

I suppressed a smile while watching him talk to my stomach. He looks so cute. But please don't tell him I said that.

Like magic, the kicking stopped. Nagkatinginan kami ni Raffy, both our eyes open wide and our mouths ajar. Slowly, a wide grin spread across Raf's face.

"Thank you," bulong niyang muli sabay halik sa tiyan ko. "You sweet, understanding baby girl."

My heart clenched a little at his gentle touch.

Fuuuuu- seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? One minute, I hate him. The next, I'm-

"Okay ka lang?"