•͟U͟N͟D͟E͟R͟S͟T͟A͟N͟D͟ ͟c͟a͟r͟t͟i͟u͟z͟i͟•͟

X

I've always been a light sleeper, so waking up in the middle of the night to the most random noises. I seemed to have been awoken at around 4:25 to what sounded like the air conditioner turning on. The tv was turned off, and Symere was by my side. Symere seemed to be a heavy sleeper, due to him not even making the slightest movement when I sat up in his bed; if it wasn't for his heavy ass breathing, I would've thought he was dead.

It was then when it hit me: Symere just told me what I've been wanting to hear ever since I'd met him. It was now known to me that Symere liked people like me, which made me happy. I looked over at him, still fast asleep. He was so adorable, even when he was sleeping; his dreads remained a pristine purple, and his tattoos upon his built body were so masculine on his child-like body. Symere slept without a shirt on, which was even better, because it allowed me to see his incredibly sexy abs and clear, caramel brown skin.

"Maybe if I just-" I thought to myself, as I lightly caressed him and put my arms around him, spooning him. His skin was so incredibly soft, smooth and warm to the touch, which made me want to touch him even more. I followed my mind, reaching my hands around him towards his stomach; once positioned my hands on his stomach, he slightly flinched, causing me to retreat my hands. But he didn't move after I moved my hands away, so I figured his stomach was just extra sensitive, which I understood, because I was sorta the same way.

I moved my hands back to the same position, this time being extra careful as to not make him flinch again. I placed my hands back on his abs without error, and pulled myself closer to him, feeling his warmth against my huge-ass boner. I began to kiss up and down his neck and back, making sure to not to suck hard enough to leave hickeys. I continued to caress his abs, thinking "Goddamn, his build is amazing for someone of his stature." It was then when I began to think of more, um, rather extreme things.

Stereotypically, I had Angel Carti on one shoulder, and Devil Carti on the other. The Devil Carti said: "Do it Jordan, reach for his dick; suck it, play with it, jerk off on it. He's slept through everything else, so he'll definitley sleep through that." Meanwhile, Angel Carti said: "No, Jordan, you're not even sure if Symere actually likes you; besides no consent=rape, and rape=prison, and prison=not good."

Me, being the guilt-ridden creature that I am, felt awful for even thinking of that. "That's true, Angel Carti," I thought, "what if he doesn't even like me, but some other dude? What the hell am I even doing right now?" I released my unconscious cuddle attack on Symere, feeling a large amount of regret for taking advantage of Symere in his sleep, and even thinking about taking even more advantage of him. Who thinks of sexually assaulting their friends while they're unconscious?

I flipped onto my other side, facing away from Symere, who had managed to sleep through the entire sub-ten minute event. My guilt forced me to shed a tear, something I had not done in literal years. I was not the type of person to demonstrate large displays of emotion other than true love or happiness. For the rest of the time, anger was the same as sadness, which was also the same as fear, and was also the same as boredom, and so on. I felt so guilty, feeling that I had almost soiled Symere and I's relationship while one of wasn't even conscious.

I managed to sleep through the rest of the night, even through my immense guilt and remorse, and was awoken by phone buzzing at what seemed like full volume. I awoke slowly, followed by Symere waking up to see what the noise was. I glanced at my phone to observe that Caleb was trying to call me. I picked up:

"H-Hello?"

"Yo, Jordan, where you at? You didn't come home last night apparently."

"Look, I'm fine; I jus crashed at Sy's for the night. The better question is where you and Travis ran off to for the entire ass game, and afterwards."

"Long story, I'll explain later."

"Isn't it always that?"

"Jordan, chill the fuck out. I'll come pick you up in 15."

"Aight, see ya then cuh."

"Who was that?" Symere asked, rubbing his eyes, as I hung up my phone. "Caleb, he'll be here in 15 to pick me up." I jumped up to grab my sweatshirt and Air Forces. Symere sat up in his bed, pushing his dreads back.

"Damn, no need to be all hasty to get outta here." Symere told me. I didn't respond, as I was looking for my shoes. "You ok, bro?" Symere asked.

"I'm fine," I said very sharply. Symere's face turned to one of concern. "Jordy, you good?" he asked again. I looked towards him with a solemn look, not sure what to say exactly. I couldn't tell him what I did to him last night, but now that I was just staring at him, I had to say something.

"Carti," Symere said, now standing up, "you're scaring me." Symere started to approach me, and I got nervous. "I-uh, um I did," I stuttered, but then shouted, "I SLEPT WITH A GAY PERSON!" Symere's face contorted again, to a look of slight disgust and confusion. "Jordan, you know it wasn't like that." He got closer.

I backed up further, instantly regretting what I had just said. Unfortunately, that was one of those statements that one cannot take back after saying it. "No, Symere," I replied, grabbing my shoes, "I just- I just can't." Symere began to look more angry, "Look, I don't care if you straight, gay, trans, or xyz-sexual, all I ask is that you treat me with respect, no matter who I like."

I looked back at Symere, to see his eyes getting big like they did when he made those sad faces at me in the parking lot, but this time with legitimate sadness, and water beginning to form in his eyelids. His cute little sad face made me feel even worse, and made the whole situation even worse. "I gotta go, Symere; bye." I quickly slid on my Air Forces, and began to walk towards Symere's door.

Symere ran up to me, trying to stop me. "No, Jordan, please, don't be one of those people. Please, please don't be like Jonathan or them." he pleaded, with tears in his eyes. I turned around to look at him, to see tears streaming down his face, and his eyes twinkling like they were that day in the cafeteria I saw him for the first time. He was latching onto me, trying to keep me from leaving, but as much as this was about to hurt me, I knew it would hurt me even more if I spent another second with someone who I did that to. I pushed Symere off of me, launching him onto his floor. I opened his door, and looked back one last time, to see Symere sitting on the floor, crying his eyes out, staring up to me with a hateful glare.

I walked down the street, on the phone with Caleb, who was already on his way. I met him on the corner of two streets, not too far from Symere's house. Once the Cadillac came into view, I began to think of the choice words that I was going to present to Caleb. The Cadillac pulled up beside me, and I heard the lock click to be unlocked. I opened the passenger door, to find Caleb looking worn-out as hell in the driver's set.

"You better have a damn good explanation as to why I haven't heard from you for 12 hours fucking hours." I threatened. "Ok, ok, let me explain." Caleb told me.

To make a long story short, Caleb and Travis were going to do exactly what they had joked about at lunch just a few days previously: they were going to buy some dope. Apparently, the person they were buying it from was this "thicc-ass Puerto Rican" who thought they were both cute. Ergo, they all left the football game, and went to Travis' house, who's parents were on a business trip in Houston, and had a threesome, while smoking dope. They made it out to sound like it was a fun ass time, but I feel like getting lit and fucking a drug dealer would be a one-way ticket to getting a positive syphilis test result.

"So, what'd you and Symere do last night?" Caleb asked. I wanted to tell someone about my struggles, and how Symere came out to me the previous night, but 1: That was Symere's business and 2: That would also effectively require me to come out, which I was definitely NOT ready for. "Uh, nothing really, we just sorta hung out. We played Minecraft, which was probably the most eventful occurrence of the night." I explained. Caleb nodded his head in approval, as we hopped onto Georgia Route 280, on our way home.