Movies and Rain (Zukka Modern AU)

Baggage and Balance

Aang walked with Zuko to his fifth period that day, and Toph tagged along on the way to sixth. The next morning, he trailed beside Sokka to their shared first period as usual, and Katara escorted him to his second class. The group continued like this for the rest of that Friday, even going all together to Zuko’s car at the end of the day before departing for the sibling’s blue Jeep. Zuko appreciated the thought, but the attention was almost suffocating. He couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t deserve any of it.
As he drove back to Iroh’s, the events of the past week played out in his mind over and over again. Aang and his friends had invited him out, shared their traditions with him, laughed with him, let him join their group. He couldn’t remember ever seeing a single one of them smile before his apology. It made sense that they’d never smile with him around. So why were they all so happy to see him now? Zuko didn’t, couldn’t understand how they’d all moved on so quickly.
   
He bit his lip as he pulled into the driveway. He climbed out of the car and rushed upstairs to change before his shift, trying to push the thoughts out of his mind. Zuko assumed a long shift at the Jasmine Dragon would help distract him, but the calm ambiance of the tea shop only allowed him more time to think. By the time he clocked out, he was convinced he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve Aang, or Sokka, or Katara, or even Toph. As he turned to head out the door, something stopped him. His uncle was sitting alone at the table nearest to the exit with a Pai Sho board and two cups of tea.
   
“Would you like to play a round?” Iroh asked without looking up from the pieces he was setting up on the board. Zuko hesitated before nodding and taking the seat across from him. If there was anything that could calm him down, it was advice from his uncle.
“I’m not very good,” Zuko reminded him. Iroh waved him off as he finished setting up the board.
“You don’t need to be good to enjoy a little tea and a game of Pai Sho.” Zuko smiled, moving the first tile up a space.
“You were very quiet today, more so than usual.” Iroh pointed out cooly, the serene smile never leaving his face.
“Yeah,” Zuko sighed, “A lot’s been going on.” His uncle took a turn and waited quietly as Zuko thought over his next move.
“Is there anything in particular you want to talk about?” He asked. Zuko glanced up, chewing the inside of his cheek.
“I’ve been talking to Aang and his friends.” Zuko said. Iroh nodded, taking out one of Zuko’s tiles.
“Yes. You went out with them last weekend, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think I should have.”
“Did something happen, Zuko?”
“Not exactly,” Zuko sighed, “They’ve just been. . . so nice.” He explained.
“That’s wonderful!” Iroh cheered.
“No, it isn’t!” Zuko snapped, standing up and displacing the tiles. Iroh’s smile faltered momentarily.
“Sorry,” Zuko breathed, slumping back into his chair. “I just. . . I was horrible to them. I just don’t get it.” Zuko crossed his arms, casting his gaze down at the floor.

“You can never accept forgiveness, until you forgive yourself,” Iroh said. Zuko looked up, meeting his uncle’s eyes.
“What?” He asked dumbly.
“After my son died, I left my position in the military and quit my father’s business. Most people assume it was out of grief. And it was,” he paused, trailing a thumb carefully over the rim of his tea cup, “But it was also because I felt like I had failed him. If I couldn’t protect my own son as his general, then how could I protect my other troops. How could I take over a business, if I couldn’t even do my job as a father.” 
“Uncle-” Zuko reached out to him. The warmth in Iroh’s friendly gaze had faded momentarily. Iroh accepted Zuko’s hand and looked up.

“I had to accept that Lu Ten’s death was not my fault. And even if it was, there was nothing I could do to go back and change the past. I did so many things that I regret. The only way I was able to move forward was by accepting my mistakes and learning from them. And accepting the help you receive on the way, so that you can forgive yourself. And eventually, I was given another chance at taking care of someone.” Iroh gently squeezed Zuko’s hand. For once, this was advice Zuko understood.

“Thank you,” Was all Zuko could manage before the tears pricked at his eyes. He hadn’t cried in years, but as Iroh scooped him into a hug he let himself fall apart knowing that Iroh would be there to hold him together.

//AN://
sorry this one's short, but I had to segway into chapter 8 somehow 👀
alrighty you know the drill

qotd: how do y'all feel about duel coloured hair? i really like it, esp uncommon colours like bright green and pink is my favourite combo!