Blade Of War (Dramione)

Chapter 5

Just as she couldn't stop it from happening.

She could not even bring herself to stop beating herself up about it.

All that roamed her mind was all the what if's. Just what if she simply could have stopped it all, yet her wonders never brought her any sort of good.

Her mind deceived her own self. 

She disliked it far too much for her own good.

She inhaled deep breaths as she tried to take back control. She wanted to pull away her gaze from the dark, displayed corridors she deeply dozed off into. She knew she had the ability to walk on out, yet what good would that do? For once Hermione had no place to go, nor a single soul to plan and plot along side with.

She felt as if she could go right into panic mode. She felt despaired, lost.

She wanted to prevent the inconvenience panicking would take, yet that was not something she could control. Yet she didn't expect anything less, nor anything more. She had just saw what she never thought she would, what she would never let herself let go of. It terrified her in more ways than one.

It was simply her and her alone. This was never an issue, yet now it was a horrendous one, she was terrified of being alone with her own mindset.

In that current moment she in fact despised her mindset.

Maybe she would let a tear trickle down due to the matters present. Yet her eyes remained dry, drowsy and filled with sorrow, yet not a single tear in sight. She didn't see the point, not now.

Yet she recognized her hand shake, and her body tense up. She mourned, over and over, she felt immense amounts of remorse and pain of those whom were lost. Those who now lied dead. One of the worst parts were she simply now stood in the very manor of whom took those lives. The ones who stood behind all the erupted havoc. The ones who were responsible for the remaining scars left on ones skin, and the terrifying thoughts left roaming ones head. 

She grew exhausted from the look of the marks, and restlessness of her memory. The vivid ones to be exact.

She sat slumped for a whole day as she practically had to self teach control over her conclusions and assumptions. She couldn't give in, nor give up, not just quite yet.

She did not want to feel terrified at every second of the day, yet how could she possibly overcome that. She had every right to be scared cold, yet it didn't help her situation, only wits could be of use now. Ironic was what it was, she was practically praised for her smarts, yet that can only take one so far, she was walking proof of that. 

Yes, she wanted ever so bad to escape, yet in the midst would she lock knees and crumble down to the ground while gasping out for air, simply because she's not capable? It was disheartening, yet held some ounce of truth.

She consumed the occasional meals that were served, yet she wanted to throw up each grain, her stomach constantly remained unsettled. She didn't know which was worse, the unhealed scaring and remembrance of the curse crucio, or the detrimental damages of trauma her mind possessed. Either way she was not in a neat fit position. No she was locked out from the outside world, she was completely isolated. All by her lonesome, not a familiar face In arms length.

She hoped they would give up on her, yet that wasn't to happen, she wouldn't walk away without a scratch.

Yet she was glad she held the determination that she did, at least she had that. 

As time went by she anticipated the arrival of Andromeda, as she had spoken of prior, yet she was waiting in silence till then. Every meal was like the previous, a struggle to get it down, yet she lost energy if she didn't, she needed that to keep her going.