Can't let YOU go !!!

CHAPTER 47: REVELATION

Then she again took a breath and asked the very wanted answered.

"Aap ne mujhse Saadi kyun ki?"

Her question wasn't unexpected. Actually it was the most expected question as they were in this situation because of that.

He lowered his head and waited for some seconds. She watched his head bend over hiding his face from her. She also waited without any hurry. There was a long night for them to clear everything. She wasn't in a hurry. She let him took his time.

Then he looked at her with the same vulnerable eyes and said.

"Mom" he just said it and she remembered how she learned about Rita ji's heart attack which happened just before their marriage. She was a smart girl. She already had some answers but waited for him to do the confirmation.

"She had a heart attack. Because of me this time. It was her 3rd."

He said. His eyes were filling with tears. She also loved the lady like her own mother. She also felt it.

"It will take a long time for the details." He said to know if she wanted to know.

"Haan, main kaunsa ja sakti hoon abhi. Door to locked hain abhi bhi." He chuckled with his tear filled eyes. But she said it serious. Maybe to give him a little ease. Then he started narrating the whole story to her when she listened.

"One night getting back from the hospital and opening the door from the spare keys, I went to Mom's room to see her. She was crying. She never used to cry like that. Or at least not in front of me. I guess the second one was right. She had Dad's photo in her hand. I was at her back. She wasn't crying loud but it was so heart breaking. I thought for a moment to give her some alone time or to hug her till she feel good. She always lived alone here so I went to her and hugged her." he took a moment and then again started.

"She startled to see me. Like she wanted to hide her tears away from me. But I'm the only one she can hold onto and cry onto.

I was devastated to know that my mom wants to hide her vulnerability from me." he tilted his head, his heart was again pinched remembering that night. Shehnaaz placed her free hand on top of his hand which was holding hers. She closed her eyes and then opened in two seconds and then rubbed his hand.

"I hugged her so tight. I felt like choking seeing her tears. She just sniffled. Maine pucha Mom, kya hua aapko? But when she didn't answer I asked her again 'Dad ki yaad aa rahi hain?' when mom also held me tightly." He choked in his voice gulped a void in his throat and then narrate the conversation to her.

"kitne akele hain na hum!! Wohh to chale gaye hame chod ke." She said when the tears i was holding fell down my cheeks.

"At least mere liye tu hain. tere liye main hoon. Hain na?" she asked like a little baby. Like she needed that confirmation from me, which again broke me thinking if she even had a slight of doubt about it. She is my Mom Shehnaaz, who raised me this well all alone. How could I not be with her and what will I do without her. So I nodded my head along with saying

'Hamesha Mom.' but then she asked

'Par mere baad? Mere baad tera kya hoga Sidharth?' she asked with cracking voice. I thought she will ask me to marry someone. Like she did thousands of time. But she said

'Shehnaaz ko milke laga tha ki wohh mere ghar ayegi to sambhal legi tujhe aur sab kuch. Wohh bacchi pe mera dill a gaya. Aisa dil hi nehi ho sakta jo Shehnaaz pe na aye. Maine dekha tha usme wohh sabb jo tujhe kush rakh sake. Par tune wohh bhi mana karr diye. Its okay beta ye teri life hain. saadi bhi teri marzi se honi chahiye' She said still in crying voice. What shocked me that she understood and didn't ask me to marry you" she was now remembering all those time with Rita ji. How suddenly she started coming to the Ngo to meet her every other days. Because she liked her as her daughter in law. Though she never behaved like one. Rita ji was a mother she craved for that she never had. Her pained word shutter her heart too.

"phir" Shehnaaz asked when he took a long time of silence.

"I said Mom, main thik hoon. She wiggle out of my hold and said 'Yeah, I know. Jaise main thik hoon.' She looked at the frame. I couldn't say anything. My voice froze after that. She got up and told me to get freshen up. I also get up and held her hand and asked 'You will be okay?' She said 'haan, jaa'. So I went to the bathroom to cry out my pain. I also miss Dad and can't see Mom crying like this. But maybe that was the worst mistake of my life." he squeezed hard her hand without realizing as he also scrunched shut his eyes. Shehnaaz took the pain, she knew what he was doing was hard at his part. But he choose to do this to stop her. so she waited till he got normal even when her small palm was in his tight hold.

"When I got out she was lying on the floor lifelessly. I couldn't understand what to do. I thought for a moment, that, That she, She. I thought I lost her." Saying this Sidharth started crying. And Shehnaaz was also teary eyed. Despite all the problems. Seeing him cry and hearing about Rita ji Shehnaaz couldn't hold back and hugged him. Sidharth cried in her arms. Her tears fell on his nape. "She is the only thing I had Shehnaaz. What would I do without her." he said crying like a baby. She rubbed his back and then said after a long time when he wasn't stopping

"It's okay. Wohh thik hain. Saadi enjoy karr rahi hain. baat hui thi mujhse saam ko" She at last got it, he married her for his mother's wish. But that wasn't justified HOW he did it.

She pushed him away from her when he calmed down and asked.

"Phir?"

He rubbed his face and continued

"I took her to the hospital. I already knew what could happen as I know her medical history and I was proven right when I took her there. She had a heart attack. She got that for me. She was always worried about me. So it happened for me. That moment all I could think about how to bring her back. I did everything I could and after 16 hour she gained her consciousness. I was there all the time with her. Her condition was critical and we kept her in observation for many days. We got back her with all the luck but can't have it if it happened again." Shehnaaz skipped a beat hearing that. Her condition was that bad.

Sidharth looked at Sana with pleading eyes in hope she would understand.

"I couldn't thought of anything then! You were what she wanted, what she choose for me. She almost died. So I had to do it. at least to keep her alive" his crackly voice came and Shehnaaz gulped a painful void.

"I took the selfish decision Shehnaaz, for my mother but I am at your guilt. I shouldn't have done this to you to keep my mother fine. You didn't owe your life to us." His eyes showing how much sorry he was. "I'm sorry." He again apologized. Shehnaaz rubbed her own scalp and looked at her lap. As things were getting clear to her. She was always confused why he did that. Now that he said it she got more confuse how she should react to it. as he did what he could do as a son, but he wronged her. How he threatened her to ruin her Ngo. How he made her leave her flat at late night. All alone. How he did everything that can put her in complication. Why he did that was justified but how he did that wasn't.

Shehnaaz then sat straight making a serious face. He got scared thinking how she will react.

"Toh aise? Jaise aap ne kiya? Darake, jab mujhe nehi mana paye tab mere baccho par kiya. Aap ko waise hi kyun karna tha? Aap mujhse halath and saab bol bhi sakte the." She was confused and utterly disgusted with his thought process. For him was that the right way to do that. It could have done with much ease. He could just narrate the whole thing to her and maybe she would have agreed to him to save a women she found motherly warmth from.

She took her hand back from his hold.

Now he had some more questions to answer. 

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