Please Don't Say You Love Me

Chapter 3

"Sorry, excuse me, thank you..." A voice mumbled behind me, growing closer and closer. "Hey, could I just-- thanks..." A hand stacked with gold bracelets that clinked together at the slightest movement moved to grab the same piece I wanted.

"Oh, sorry." I said, drawing back and turning to leave the line.

"No, it's fine. You can..."

"You!" I said, louder than I should have.

She glared at me, frozen, before finally speaking. "...Let's go somewhere else."

"So..." She sucked her teeth, rubbing her hand up and down her arm.

"Hi." I said, flashing her a grin. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in response

"I remember you. You were the guy on the college tour."

"Yours truly."

"Tell me, are you still as much of a flirt now as you were then?"

I shrugged. "What do you think?"

She paused, thoughtful. Her eyes darted around my face, before settling back into a serious expression. "You've grown up a bit, but yes."

"I'll take it. So what have you been up to?"

"You know... finishing school. I actually ended up going to--"

"Seriously?"

"Mhm. And now I'm studying investigative journalism. And you?"

"Majored in engineering, out of state. I'm doing computer science at Berkley now."

"You're not gonna like hearing this, but that's so predictable." She said, the corners of her lips tilting up into a faint smile. "Also, I have an important question. What's your name?"

"Don't tell me you forgot, Anaya." I grinned again before heading back to a table.

A few minutes later, she joined me with her own plate and stared at me. "Jai."

"How'd you remember?"

"I asked Elle." She said, calmly chewing on a piece. "I didn't know you two are still together." She said, glancing to the side long enough to hide an expression of slight guilt.

I sighed, running a hand through my face. " I don't know if you would even say we're together, to be honest."

"What do you mean?"

"We got back together after our senior year of undergrad, for some reason. But neither of us is taking it seriously. We're both wondering when the other's going to break it off."

"So end it. Isn't that the smartest thing to do instead of waiting for the same thing?"

"Yes, but I can't do it. I don't want to be the reason our relationship ends again."

"Oh. I... I'm sorry."

"It's fine. You're right, I know that. But I'm not sure if I want that."

She stood up, scanned the room, and held out a hand. She smiled, cocking her head to the side. "Would you mind accompanying me to the restroom? It's a big hotel, and I'd hate to get lost."

"Hold on, hold on. You're telling me that you actually managed to get a giant thong on the horse statue on campus?"

"They still don't know who did it." I said, taking a sip of whiskey, barely hiding my smile.

"Wow. Ok, my turn." Anaya said, wobbling slightly after reaching forward for her glass. I snatched it away, steading her before she slipped. "I think you've had enough. We probably shouldn't be drinking this much, anyway, considering we're sitting on a balcony ledge five stories up." I said, setting my own glass down.

"When the hell did you become so responsible?" She said, smirking.

"When you almost fell 70 feet. And you still say 'hell' a lot, don't you?"

"Hell." She laughed harder, tossing her head back. "Whatever. What was I saying? Yeah, my craziest story..." She paused, taking a sip of water before continuing. "My craziest story is getting married soon." She laughed. "I just can't believe something this big is happening so soon. But I think, I think it means that everything is coming together now. It means stability."

"That's really nice."

"But what if I just don't want to settle down now? What if I'm not ready? Who's to say that I want something beyond stability? What if wanting something more passionate than stable isn't wrong?" She said, slowly breathing harder and harder. She looked at me, confused and worried. "Am I doing the right thing?" She whispered.

"Hey." I took her wrist, forcing her to look at me. "Anaya, breathe. First, there's nothing wrong in taking more time to settle down. 23 is, in my opinion, pretty young. We're still figuring ourselves out. And second, you don't need to have this stuff planned out. It's okay to want to explore other things." I said gently.

She stared at her shoes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. I lifted her chin up, and I felt a sudden need to kiss her. I leaned in, closing my eyes.

"I'm still engaged, Jai." Anaya said, standing up and brushing her dress. "Thanks for the advice. I hope you and Elle work things out."

I took a sip of my whiskey, running a hand through my face. I screwed up. Again.

"Anaya! An-- sorry, excuse me. Anaya!" I was back downstairs, pushing through crowds of people looking for her.

"Jai, there you are! Come on, I wanted to introduce you to my friend, the one getting engaged." Elle appeared out of seemingly nowhere, pulling me toward the front of the ballroom. She gestured to a couple surrounded by people either shaking their hands or smothering them in hugs. The man next to her was tall, wearing a traditional gold sherwani suit. Next to him stood a girl with a sheet of long, straight hair and an elaborate gold lehenga skirt. She turned, a wide smile plastered on her face, faltering between each hug.

"Hi guys, congratulations! Oh my gosh, I'm just so happy for you two, you make the perfect pair!" Elle gushed, hugging the girl tightly and shaking the guy's hand. "Jai, this is Rohan and I'm sure you remember Anaya. They're the ones getting married next week!"

I blinked, reorienting myself before breaking into a smile. "Congratulations, both of you." I said, shaking Rohan's hand. I looked at Anaya, her eyes trained at the wall behind me.

Of everything that could have happened tonight, this was the last thing I expected.